There Is A Heartache Following Me

De Simple Silence.

I discovered Meher Baba, or He discovered me, when I read His obituary in « Time » Magazine in 1969 and became interested in Him and His work.

I have read everything about Him and also His own works, and our relationship has been a « Love Affair » ever since. I also went to the « Meher Baba House » in New York’s Greenwich Village and through that met some people from the cast of the movie ‘Godspell,’ many of whom were « Baba Lovers. » I was even invited to visit Jeffrey Mylett in Ridgefield, Ct. where he just recently had purchased a house. Although I have, over the years lost touch with him and the people from the « Meher Baba House, » I shall always remember their kindness and generosity.

Then I also heard how Pete Townsend had written his rock-opera « Tommy » in honor of Meher Baba. This is how he got the idea of the « deaf, dumb and blind boy » becoming something of an « avatar » and later rejected Master. It is in a round-about way the story of Meher Baba translated into the « scene » of contemporary « rock-culture » and degenerate western society. Tommy, after becoming self-realized, draws plenty of « disciples » with his easy-going demeanor and « simple » message... But these « disciples, » after realizing that Tommy’s instructions require intense work, self-sacrifice and complete surrender to God, turn on him with a vengeance, ready to kill him, because by somewhat « opening » their mind and souls, they couldn’t face themselves and their failures « in the mirror. » In order to « go through the mirror » they would have to abandon all preconceived notions about life, God, and Self through intense « meditation » and dedication to the goal of finding enlightenment. » This, of course, they were neither willing nor capable of doing. Thus they turned on him and his teachings because he was the one who held the « mirror » up to them symbolically. Nothing fazed Tommy though, as he was just as happy and self-fulfilled without them...

The late 1960’s and early 1970’s were a wonderful time with young and not so young people searching and open for new concepts and ideas. There was a spiritual intensity in the air which manifested itself in the early « Jesus People, » Guru Mahara Ji the sixteen year old « Perfect Master, » the « Process Church, » and so many more. That was also the time when »Godspell, « Jesus Christ Superstar, » « Tommy » and « Jonathan Livingston Seagull » came out and turned even more people on to the spiritual path. I still feel that these movies taught people more about true spirituality and Jesus than all the preaching and teaching in Churches or through theological speculations. People craved « real » spirituality and direct experiences, be it through the « Holy Spirit » in the Jesus movement, or through unstructured togetherness in « satsang » and meditation in the eastern groups. All were « alive in the spirit, » and made it possible to find a new and much more meaningful life. We were « blissed-out » and felt such a love and togetherness that we thought that the world would really change with us and that this would last forever. We thought that we could pass our values and experiences on to our children, but despite our influence and openness they became « yuppies » and more materialistic then any other generation before. And we became gradually more and more disillusioned.

Meher Baba’s smiling, loving face resembles to me all that was so good and special about that time. He was our Avatar, » the « awakener » of our generation, even if some of us had never heard of Him and followed an entirely different path. Meher Baba was my « awakener » in the spirit, even though I had already read and explored many different spiritual disciplines and groups. It was His « awakening » of me, which brought to life and reality that which I had read in the letters as dead words. Perhaps I can not even make anybody else understand what I really mean, but it was He, in some miraculous way, who « opened my third eye » and gave me a new vision and living experience of all the spiritual and even political « material » I had read and ever would read. This is not to say that all my interpretations of things are right and that it comes all from « Baba, » it would be ludicrous to make such a claim. We all must travel our own road and experience different things in accordance with our « background » and conditioning. Previous lives and retributions dedicated by « karma » are also part and parcel of our baggage. But it is « Baba » who travels with us, if we allow Him to, and who makes it all bearable and meaningful.

Does this sound « unreasonable » or even crazy? Aren’t all lover’s crazy? And I Love Meher Baba, I am a « Baba Lover, » and I crave my Beloved... and that is why I say with a quote from one of his favorite Jim Reeves’ songs,

« There is a heartache following me... »

Holger W. Haffke. © Holger W. Haffke