De Simple Silence.

Contents 1 Life Of A Resident With Avatar Meher Baba's Mandali 1.1 Peter The Dog 1.2 Stop Trying And Start Remembering 1.3 Extinguishing The Ego 1.4 Using Tact In Conveying The Truth 1.5 Speed-Breaker Story 1.6 Sacrifice 1.7 Being Stronger Than Your Suffering 1.8 The Butcher 1.9 The Importance Of Meher Baba's Form 1.10 Pretending To Be Angry 1.11 Prayers 1.12 Harmony

[modifier] Life Of A Resident With Avatar Meher Baba's Mandali

[modifier] Peter The Dog

A similar story Mani would often recount was about Baba's dog, Peter. One day Mani was called into Mandali Hall by Baba. He was sitting in His usual chair and the men Mandali were sitting on the floor around Him. Baba gestured towards His feet and Mani noticed that Peter had crawled over toward Baba and was now sleeping there. Thinking that Baba wanted her to remove Peter she started forward, but Baba gestured to her to look at Peter and she noticed that the dog's legs were moving in his sleep. He was whining as well and Baba gestured, "He is dreaming. He is having a bad dream and is very afraid. He is dreaming that he is being attacked by big dogs and he is very scared. He does not know that he is safe and sleeping at my feet."

Mani would then add, "That's how we all are. Just like Peter, we are sleeping safely at His feet, but we forget this. Like Peter, we are so absorbed in our illusory dream that we take the illusory suffering to be real and feel the pain. Only on awakening do we experience the reality — that we were always safe with Him.

"It helps, to remember during our moments of suffering, that we are only dreaming. He is always with us. Don't let the dream overwhelm you. Remember Him all the time. Call out to Him. Talk to Him. Repeat His name. This weakens the effect of the dream. Have you ever had a dream where you are aware that it's a dream? It's like that. When you remember Him constantly, you become aware of the dream and it does not overwhelm you."

[modifier] Stop Trying And Start Remembering

Nana Kher was one of Baba's early disciples who later came to live at Meherabad. Unlike Mansari, he lived at lower Meherabad, but would come up the hill every day to sit outside the Samadhi and give pilgrims Prasad as they left. Like Bal, he hadn't lived with Baba on a continuous basis but used to come for Baba's darshan and would spend time with Baba at Guruprasad during the summer months.

Many pilgrims will remember Nana's warm embrace when they first arrived at the Samadhi and his smiling "Welcome home" greeting. Once Nana got to know you, he would ask, "Do you remember Baba throughout the day?"

Most would say something along the lines of, "I try."

Nana would then lovingly tell you, "Do not try. Trying is not enough. You must remember Him. Baba said, 'Remember Me', He did not say, 'Try to remember Me'."

This seemed illogical to me and I argued with Nana, about it. He told me to bring him the « Discourses » and show him any place where Baba said, "Try to remember Me." So for the next few days, I flipped through the « Discourses » but I could not find the relevant quote. Finally I found a quote in « Mastery of Consciousness » written by Allan Cohen in which Baba used the Word "try."

Nana just laughed when I showed this to him and insisted that I had to show him the same quote in Baba's « Discourses » or he would not change his stand that Baba always said, "Remember Me," and never "Try to remember Me."

I protested that I didn't have time to go through the entire « Discourses ». Nana didn't say anything for a moment or two and then he turned to me and said, "Have you heard of mountaineers making an attempt to scale a peak? What great preparations, what great efforts and what great hardships and trials they face while trying to reach the very summit. They risk their lives and some even lose their lives while trying to reach the peak. But think of the glory one experiences when one finally succeeds in reaching the top. How exhilarating it must feel.

"Then what about the ultimate glory of God-realization? How much more is expected of us to scale that peak? Shouldn't we risk everything and give our best effort for that ultimate glory? No sacrifice is too big to reach the ultimate goal." Nana concluded, "Effort invites grace, so stop trying and start remembering Him."

[modifier] Extinguishing The Ego

Of course, the difficulty in "working for Baba" while living as a resident is that the choice was never made so explicitly clear. Still, over time, I found that I did begin to occasionally get explicit hints from the Mandali about what they were doing and why they were doing it which helped my poor mind relax its torturous grip on its own logic. For example, it was fascinating to watch Bhauji in action. Not only was the work load on him immense, but the manner with which he handled it was amazing. People would pour into his office, one after another, with some problem. Bhauji would reprimand someone and in the very next instant he would shower love on another. Over years of working with him I began to realize that Bhauji's response was according to the spiritual need of the soul. If a particular resident's ego was inflated by his successful work, then his work would be criticized.

All Mandali, including Eruch, followed the same pattern. At such times it appeared that the Mandali were harsh or obstructive to the work one was doing, but spiritual training is all about slimming down one's ego. When a resident would be down in the dumps, feeling low, the Mandali would shower lots of love regardless of his behavior.

Once in a while, a resident living at Meherabad, would be such a strong and hard-headed personality that almost every resident would complain about him or her and would want the person removed or placed somewhere out of everyone's way. We who worked around Bhauji knew, that no matter how bad the resident was, Bhauji would refuse to remove him.

On one occasion a particular resident was always creating troublesome situations. Complaints were pouring in and eventually it reached such levels that complaints went to the Meherazad Mandali. When the Meherazad Mandali phoned Bhauji to inquire about the situation, Bhauji explained the problem, but the moment it was suggested that the resident be removed, Bhauji very calmly replied, "The problem will not be solved by removing the resident. The root cause of the problem will be solved only when the ego is removed."

After Bhauji finished his talk on the phone, he turned to us and said, "Only when you throw out the ego, then He will manifest in you and then you will have real poise. Nothing will disturb you then. Right now one is easily affected by praise or blame and also by other people's behavior. Why? Because it is all within you, lust, greed, anger, jealousy and all this is because of the ego which separates you from one another and creates within you likes and dislikes for different people. If someone pleases your ego you like him, but if your ego is hurt you dislike him. So what is the source of your problem? Is it outside you?

"A person does something, but why do you react with anger? It is because of the ego. So work hard to remove the ego. Removing resident would not make a difference. Baba always had someone like that around Him who would always create lots of problem for the Mandali. And Baba would encourage such a person to create more problems. There were the boys Ismail and Isaac. Then there was Krishnaji and many, many others.

"Why did Baba do this? To wipe out the ego. Baba would treat such people as royalty giving them good food and the best treatment and the Mandali had to serve them. The Mandali did it without complaint. So no matter what work you do, or what situation you are placed in, do it wholeheartedly for Him. When you do it for Him there is no room for complaints and that is the only way to get rid of the ego."

[modifier] Using Tact In Conveying The Truth

Eruch often spoke on truth. He would frequently assert that "Truth is that which upholds a person," and told the story many times in Mandali Hall about how Baba, Himself, had brought this message home to him.

Elaborating on this theme one day he said, "You may narrate a fact, but in the process of doing it, if you belittle someone, then it's not the truth.

"A pilgrim once said to me, 'People don't like it if I speak the truth about their nature.' It depends on how you present it. You have to be careful about what you say and how you say it. If you hurt a person, then it is not the truth. For truth uplifts a person.

"Suppose you see a woman who is ugly and tell her that she is ugly. You have narrated a fact, but it is not the truth, for you have broken her heart. But if you were to praise her by saying that she has a simple heart and a friendly face, then it would be the truth.

"If you come to know that a Baba worker is doing something wrong or if he has made a mistake, you have to tell him very carefully. If you just blurt out his mistake to him, he will react with anger. It is because his perception will be that you are attacking him, which you are not, and he will then go on the offensive and attack back. That's what anyone would do if attacked.

"So you have to be very careful about how you point out a person's mistake. You have to be loving and tactful. First, you must win the person over with love. Let him know how his effort and work for Baba is appreciated. Praise him for something good he has done. Ask him what he is doing now. When he talks about his work and he comes to the part where he needs correction, carefully suggest to him the correct way to do it. Without telling him that he is wrong, suggest to him an optional way of doing it and make it appear that it is his suggestion and not yours.

"It's an art, a divine art. That's how it was around Baba. Even the most ordinary thing became difficult. That's what spiritual training is all about."

One of Mani's favorite quotes on the subject was:

Karo toe aisa ke Khuda bhi Kush ho aur shaitan bhi naraz na ho

Behave in such a way that not only is God pleased, but even the devil is not displeased

[modifier] Speed-Breaker Story

Another story that helped me was one that Mani told once in the hall. She said, "Our life with Baba was timeless, as if time ceased to exist. There was a sense of eternity; however, to watch the present generation rush through their lives with no time for anything or anyone is very sad. People do not have time to meet their parents, family or friends for years. In some documentary films that I have seen, the people are in such a hurry that, even while walking they are leaning forward, you don't find people walking straight. Some pilgrims have come up to me and said that in just one life, they feel they have undergone the suffering and experiences of ten lifetimes.

"We feel sad for them. Things are so fast that people are breathless. It's time to slow down. What we need is speed-breakers. What are these speed-breakers? Let me tell you a story.

"This is the story of a dacoit who ruled a jungle. He was so ferocious that no one would dare cross the jungle. His name was Angulimala, which means garland of fingers. He would murder his victims, chop off their fingers, and make a garland to wear around his neck.

"Despite everyone's warnings, Gautama Buddha decides to undertake his journey through the jungle. The dacoit, on sighting Buddha, first wonders who the foolish man was to venture to his death. When he sees Buddha dressed in a monk's robe, he felt that it would be nice to kill a monk and have his finger garland made. So he follows this monk, but he finds that the distance between them is increasing. So the dacoit increases his speed, but to his surprise, the distance between him and the monk was still increasing, although the monk was walking leisurely.

"In desperation the dacoit breaks into a run, but still the distance between him and the monk was increasing, even though the monk was not running. Totally exhausted from the chase the dacoit shouts at the monk and says, 'Please stop, please stop.' Buddha turns around and tells the dacoit, 'l have already stopped my child, it is time for you to stop now.'

"Stopping refers to the stopping of the mind. Baba said, 'Mind working is man, mind working fast is mad, mind slowed down is mast and mind stopped is God.' So how do we go about stopping the mind? First slow down by introducing speed-breakers. What are these speed-breakers? Your coming and visiting Meherabad is one, visiting Baba-centers is another. If you can't do that, then just a few Baba-lovers getting together and reading His books and discussing or talking about His stories of love and compassion, is a good way of slowing down. And if you can't do that, then create some time during the day to remember Him or remember Him in any way you think fit. Increase these speed-breakers more and more and finally a time will come where the speed will slow down and eventually stop."

This was helpful to me, not that it made my situation any easier, but it brought home to me that although I experienced a lot of frustration and opposition in my work at the Trust, my suffering was brought on by my mind's reaction to it. The more I could just think about Baba, the more I could escape the mental anguish I otherwise was undergoing. Of course, this was easier to say than to do, but every now and then, something the Mandali said, or their living example, or even just the impact of Baba's love flowing through them, was enough to help me, even if only momentarily, realize the larger Truth that lay beneath the surface of my resident life.

[modifier] Sacrifice

For a while, when I was living at Meherazad, Dr. Anne Moreigne was also staying there as Shelley was away for some reason. The two of us would accompany Eruch on his early morning walk down the Meherazad approach road. This particular time, Dr. Anne was a bit late and Eruch was getting restless.

He asked me a couple of times, "Why is Dr. Anne late today?" This was a habit of Eruch's. Although he had incredible patience, and although he seldom reprimanded the person who was tardy to any great extent, he would often go on and on to those around him, repeatedly asking why this person was late and what they were doing and so on.

Eventually Anne arrived and Eruch looked at me and said, "Viccho has come."

"What does that mean?" Anne asked and I told her that Viccho was a Gujarati word meaning "scorpion."

"Am I such a horrible person?" Anne asked.

"It was a compliment," Eruch replied.

"How could it be a compliment? A scorpion is supposed to be a vicious creature."

"Don't you know what a great sacrifice a female scorpion makes for the sake of her babies?" Eruch asked. He then proceeded to explain: "After giving birth, the female allows her babies to feed upon her own body. The babies eat the mother until they are strong enough to fend for themselves. The mother perishes in order that the babies can survive. What a great sacrifice the scorpion makes."

To this day, I do not know if this is a fact, but it was Eruch's illustration of true sacrifice.

On another day, however, Eruch added another nuance to the notion of sacrifice. Somebody had made a comment about how much a certain person had sacrificed for the sake of his girl friend. Eruch commented, "Sacrifice is always for false love. In true love there is only oneness — the question of sacrifice does not arise in true love."

[modifier] Being Stronger Than Your Suffering

During my illness, a point had reached where my health was very bad. I had so little energy that I could hardly move about and that too, only with the aid of crutches. For close to two years I battled poor health and I was fed up with my incapacity. I often prayed to Baba to release me from my body.

Once, while visiting Meherazad during this period, I happened to meet Meheru. Naturally she asked about my health and I told her quite frankly how I felt. She said, "Baba knows what you are going through. He has given you this suffering for a specific reason. Let the suffering do its job and you continue to do your job. Don't let the suffering overwhelm you, so that your life comes to a halt. Be stronger than your suffering and, in order to do that, continue living and continue with your work. Don't give undue attention to your suffering, try to ignore it and concentrate on your Baba work.

"It does not matter how much you do in a day. Do just a little, but do it for Him. Also, remember that where Baba is concerned, everything that happens is fine and just the way He wants it. So be happy, for His sake, no matter what situation He puts you in."

This made a deep impression on me. A year has passed since Meheru told me this. I am still struggling with my bad health, but I keep reminding myself that from Baba's point of view, everything is fine, so I tell myself to look at it from His viewpoint and be happy.

[modifier] The Butcher

This is a story that Mansari Desai would often tell us. Once, Baba was in a good mood while addressing His lovers. He asked them, "Do you know of anyone who is more compassionate than I am? I am the most compassionate one."

No one replied.

When Baba repeated the question several times, one bold Baba-lover from Karachi got up and said to Baba, "I know of someone who is more compassionate than you."

Baba asked, "Really? Who is that?"

The man replied, "The butcher. The butcher is more compassionate than you. The butcher kills with just a single slash from his sword, whereas you, Baba, first pull off a persons hair, then you peel off his skin, then you carve his flesh, and then you kill him slowly. Certainly, the butcher shows more compassion than you, Baba."

Baba just laughed.

[modifier] The Importance Of Meher Baba's Form

One reason why I constantly felt distressed was that I held the Mandali in such high esteem. Thus every time we had a run in of sorts, it hurt twice — one that they didn't seem to be living up to my high image of them, and secondly because inevitably I ended up feeling that I had lost their respect as well. Either would have been intolerable, but to experience both simultaneously was torture.

It was like a zen koan, my mind wrestled with it constantly. Here were people who proved, on a daily basis, that they were wise, and loving, and yet they seemed to be the cause of my not being able to accomplish the simplest and most straight forward task. And, despite the fact that I was doing, what my mind told me, was entirely sensible and correct, I was invariably being told by them that I was doing the wrong thing.

How could people I respected so much make such mistakes, or judge me so harshly? If their judgment was correct, then I was such a wretch I couldn't bear to live with myself, but if their judgment was wrong, then how could I live with their misjudgment and what did that say about my high regard for them? Yet, my heart held on, knowing that there was something deeper going on here that my mind was not grasping.

There was no way out of this conundrum, at least for me at that time. So I learned to take "vacations." These didn't involve stopping my work, they were more about learning to let go of it when I wasn't directly involved so that I could appreciate better the other experiences that were open to me.

As a kind of consolation, I took to spending whatever time I could around Eruch. During my time as a resident, I lived for quite a while in the Trust Compound itself. This gave me a great opportunity to see Eruch when he came into the Trust Office three days a week. Eruch would be busy with Trust work in the morning, but I would make it a point to attend tea whenever I could. As I've said before, other residents who worked in the Trust Office would congregate around Eruch's little table on the back verandah and the atmosphere was informal, relaxed and intimate. Residents from Meherabad and Meherazad would also try to stop by for tea if they could as well.

Gary Kleiner, a long time resident, would almost always come by. Gary enjoyed teasing Eruch by saying the most outrageous things, in an effort to provoke Eruch into saying something significant. He would do his best to argue with Eruch, to engage him in a bout of intellectual gymnastics. He would try to talk Eruch into a corner and Eruch would always escape with ease. Things were never dull, when Gary was around. He was, by nature, gregarious, even flamboyant, and I think he went out of his way to accentuate this when he was around Eruch in an effort to amuse him.

Eruch seemed to enjoy Gary's mischievous and humorous nature and, for the most part, so did the other residents. Gary seemed to feel that most of the time Eruch just gave out the "party line" when he was talking to pilgrims and Gary was determined to somehow get Eruch to reveal the real "secrets" in these less public settings. To this end, Gary would often ask questions or make statements that most of us found outrageous, but Eruch would generally just laugh, knowing what Gary was up to. It was all just part of the everyday fabric of life as a resident. But I remember one occasion when it seemed to me that Eruch spoke very forcefully and quite seriously, as if he was trying to drive a point home. A point that could not be taken lightly. Gary started off, in his typical manner, "Eruch, Baba often said that He is not the physical form; that He is not the physical body. He has repeatedly said that He is Infinite Consciousness. Yet the Mandali encourage everyone to hold onto the form of Baba, to remember Baba as we see Him in His physical body. Wouldn't it be better if I pursued the Infinite Consciousness? If I focused and meditated on the infinite aspect of Baba, wouldn't that be a superior path to one of clinging to His form, which Baba Himself, said is not His reality?"

Eruch chuckled and said, "No, Gary. The path of Meher Baba is superior to the path of the Infinite aspect of God."

Inevitably, Gary persisted. "Oh, come on, Eruch. You are not being open minded. After so many years of being around Baba's body, you have become attached to it. Your attachment has biased your opinion and your reply too."

Eruch, to my surprise, reacted with uncustomary sharpness.

"Gary, you don't know what you are saying. The path of Meher Baba's form is superior to all other paths. You would piddle in your pants if you got the experience of Infinity or Oneness. The path to that experience is full of dangers and if you get that experience, it will be too much for you, it will cause you too much suffering. You would become like the mast who stood on his head all day long. Do you know that story? (Masts are God's intoxicated souls, who have lost normal consciousness).

"There was this Mast who would not put his feet on the floor because he saw God everywhere and putting his feet on the floor would mean putting it on God's face. He was considered mad and locked up in an asylum.

"A Baba lover happened to meet this mast and tried to convince him to stand on his feet, like everyone else. The mast refused, saying, 'How can I put my feet on God's face, it's blasphemy to do that. I have to stand on my head; there is no other way for me.'"

Eruch concluded, "You have no idea of the suffering that the experience of 'oneness with the whole creation' can bring. Just thank your stars that Meher Baba has come in our midst to save us the agony of that journey. So hold on to His form. Hold on to Him."

[modifier] Pretending To Be Angry

On another occasion Craig, who works around Bhauji, came to discuss with him several problems related to Trust work that needed Bhauji's attention. As Craig finished explaining the nature of the problem Bhauji got very upset with Craig and started reprimanding or should I say "hammering" him. Bhauji angrily said to Craig "You always create problems for the Trust and for me. I had already attended to these problems and now again the problems have come up. I know you go around talking with people, instigating them and then you advise them to come to me. I know you are behind all this."

Craig meekly protested "Bhauji you know it's not true, I was only trying to help by drawing your attention to the problem."

This made Bhauji even more upset and he said "Yes I don't know what is happening. I am not doing my work properly. So I need your help in drawing my attention to Trust problem. Now you teach me how to do my job."

Craig protested again and Bhauji hammered him even more. In the end Craig said sorry and left.

I had seen Bhauji getting angry with me on many occasions and this time Bhauji was really fiery. As soon as Craig left Bhauji started laughing and asked us, "Did I look very angry?"

I could not believe that Bhauji was pretending. Bhauji then said "Craig is a very good worker, but do not tell him that. The hammering is his spiritual training and see he still continues to do his work. He does not run away."

At this point I asked Bhauji directly "Tell me Bhauji, how many times in the past have you hammered us and it was only a pretense?" Bhauji laughed and said "The Mandali who could pretend anger 100% of the time was Eruch. Eruch never got angry — never. He only pretended."

I again asked Bhauji "And what is your percentage rating of pretending anger?" Bhauji laughed again and replied "Maybe 80% of the time I pretend, but I still lose my temper 20% of the time."

I first heard about Meher Baba in 1981 through someone I met in Bombay. At the time I was serving in the Merchant Marines and was an atheist. I used to enjoy asking religious friends questions they couldn't answer, such as, If God is our divine father and all-powerful, why does he allow one child to be born a cripple and another healthy? What kind of father would do that to his children?

I guess you could say I was seeking, but through the circuitous method of harassing people who believed in God. My first reaction on seeing Baba's photo was, "Oh, one more Baba, as if we don't have enough Baba's in India." As I had not heard of this particular Baba before, I decided that he couldn't be important.

Yet through a series of coincidences, or one can say, Baba-arranged situations, I ended up reading the « Discourses ». I was impressed by the logical manner in which Baba not only addressed the sorts of questions I had been hounding people with, but answered them convincingly. I began to feel that this Baba must, after all, have some sort of spiritual status to be able to write so authoritatively. On the other hand, when I started reading about His life, I became confused once more.

Baba's life was not at all the sort of life I imagined a Master would lead. He claimed to be all-knowing, and His « Discourses » certainly made me predisposed to accept that claim, and yet he didn't seem to know His own mind. For example, He kept declaring that He would break His silence on a certain date, which would have great spiritual implications for humanity, (Meher Baba stopped speaking on July 10, 1925 and remained silent for the rest of His life), but the dates would come and go and nothing would happen. Baba would continue His silence and simply set another date for when He was going to break it. And that was only one aspect of His life, which utterly confused me.

The more I read, the more I discovered things, which I found difficult to understand, and this was a paradox not easily resolved. His writings were so powerful that they had begun to form the foundation of my life. I could not just dismiss Baba as a charlatan or a self-deluded crank. I did not know what to make of it. So I continued to go to sea, and when I was back in Bombay, I would visit the Avatar Meher Baba Center there. Oddly enough, no one there ever told me that quite a few of Baba's Mandali were still alive or that they lived in nearby Ahmednagar. Maybe people assumed that I must know that, but the first time I met one of the Mandali was when Bhauji came to Bombay Centre in 1985 to give a talk on his way to tour the West.

When Bhauji was introduced and I heard that he had spent his adult life with Baba and had done duty as Baba's night watchman, I felt an electric current flow through me. At the end of the talk, I went up to Bhauji to ask him some of the many questions which had been plaguing me for the past four years. Bhauji asked me to meet him the next day at Havovi Dadachanji's place, (the woman who had first told me about Meher Baba in 1981).

For some reason, as the time came near for the meeting, I felt very reluctant to go. I phoned with the intention of canceling my appointment, but before I could say anything of the sort, Bhauji told me to come immediately. "I am waiting for you", he said and hung up the phone.

I was upset that I hadn't been able to explain that I wasn't coming and, as I made my way across town, I decided that I would corner Bhauji intellectually and either get the answers to all my questions or make him admit that he did not know. We talked for perhaps an hour. In the end, Bhauji gave me such a profound answer that my heart was touched and suddenly all of Baba's actions began to make sense to me. I knew then, with absolute certainty, that I had to go to Ahmednagar and meet the rest of Baba's Mandali and I was sure that there, at last, I would find relief from the mental turmoil of the last four years.

Accordingly, as soon as the Pilgrim Centre opened for the season (it remains closed during the hot summer months) I went to Meherabad. I felt, right away, that I had come home and that this was where I wanted to live.

When I met the Mandali at Meherazad, there was something very familiar about all of them, even though I was meeting them all for the first time. I felt as if we had met before; no, it was stronger than that, I felt as if somehow we knew each other very well, as if these were old, old friends of mine.

I had a sense that this was where I belonged, where I should have been all along. I felt very strongly that all of my past confusion, indeed all the suffering and struggles I had ever had in my life, had been worthwhile because they had brought me here, this was what I had unconsciously been looking for.

It wasn't just the easy sense of familiarity which produced this effect — that might have led me to enjoy my visit. I felt as if my soul were, for the first time in my life, receiving nourishment.

It is hard to talk about this in a way that doesn't sound either trite or overly dramatic. On the other hand, it is important to try to give some idea of the experience; otherwise nothing that follows will make any sense.

As I met with the Mandali and peppered them with questions, I found that they had answers. They all were able to answer my questions, and yet, each one gave me different answers. I began to perceive that my intellectual confusion was really only a small part of a much larger state of emotional turmoil I had been in the midst of. While I had thought that I was in the midst of a prosperous and promising career, I discovered that I had a profound sense of emotional dissatisfaction within me which I was not aware of. I realized this because as I talked with the Mandali, I began to see just how irrelevant my questions were. Their answers were satisfying me, not because they stilled my mind as much as because they fed my heart.

Thus Mansari could joke about the planes of consciousness, by asking whether I was talking about Air India or TWA, while Eruch could go into detail about the subtleties of the subject and both these answers satisfied me because both Eruch and Mansari made me feel unconditionally loved. The Mandali just exuded this love, effortlessly. Just as the sun radiates its warmth and light, so too did their very presence, even when silent, drench one in love.

And in the light of this love, I suddenly had the clarity of vision I had lacked before. Spiritual paradoxes, mental confusions, no longer seemed irresolvable. In fact, spirituality no longer seemed to be about understanding at all, but rather about living a life of love. As simple as that. And in the atmosphere of Meherabad and Meherazad, in the presence of the Mandali, I felt that this was a life I could lead, indeed it was the only life worth living.

[modifier] Prayers

In the latter half of the 1980's almost everyone would go to Meherazad on a bus that the Trust provided. It would leave Meherabad from the Pilgrim Center and then stop in town briefly to pick up anyone who was there and to allow for the pilgrims to quickly attend to personal matters at the Trust. It would then head out to Meherazad.

Some days there would be two buses of pilgrims. Generally, after getting down from the buses, people would line up in a queue for the chance to greet the Mandali. It hadn't always been this way, but the sheer volume of pilgrims, and the diminishing number of the Mandali, eventually resulted in there being large crowds around Eruch and Mani. As the Mandali were always sensitive to someone feeling left out, they would try to make it a point to greet everyone. Eventually, the habit fell into place of forming a queue so that everyone got a chance to greet all the Mandali.

I was standing in queue to greet Mani Irani, Baba's sister. About her, Baba had said that she was His sister, Subhadra, when He was Krishna. Although it must have been exhausting for her, Mani would greet every pilgrim in queue with an embrace that overflowed with love. She would also spend a minute or two after each embrace chatting with that pilgrim or making a joke or telling a funny story, as was Mani's nature.

When my turn came, Mani embraced me but then looked at me and said very seriously, "We have had no rains this year; the water situation is bad. Rustom, pray to Baba on our behalf to send us rain."

I was surprised by Mani's request and said, "Mani, you are Baba's sister and if He doesn't listen to your prayers, then why would He listen to mine?"

Mani replied, "You see, that's not true about prayers. Let me tell you a story to help you understand the significance of prayers."

"There was a party going on in a huge hall. The table was laid with the best food that you can imagine. Delicacies were flown in from all over the world. A royal feast was being given to all who assembled for the party. However, a condition was imposed on everyone who came for the party. One hand of each person was tied behind his back and to the other hand was tied a long spoon. They were free to eat to their hearts' content but had to comply with this restriction.

"One would think they would have a grand time but no, that was not the case. The people were unhappy. The long spoon made it impossible for them to eat anything. The spoon would not reach their mouth because it was too long and the food was spilling all over the floor. People were terribly unhappy because the room contained delicious items as far as the eye could see but not a single morsel entered anyone's mouth.

"Meanwhile, in another room a similar party was taking place. Again, a royal banquet was laid out and delicious food was flown in from all over the world. The people assembled were subjected to the same condition. One hand of each person was tied behind his back and to the other hand was tied a long spoon. But there was a difference in this party. Everyone was enjoying the food. How did they manage to do this? Each one was picking up the food with the spoon and feeding the person sitting opposite him. In this way, everyone was happy and enjoying the food."

Mani ended by adding, "Prayers are like that. When you pray for someone else, they are answered."

[modifier] Harmony

Although I was disappointed that Eruch did not speak out or step in and settle the disputes that occurred at Meherabad, he would constantly emphasize the importance of harmony to anyone who cared to listen.

I remember very clearly one early morning walk that Dr. Anne and I were taking with Eruch. We had gone about 200 feet down the Meherazad approach road, when Eruch stopped and pointed to a tree to the left of the road. He asked us if we saw anything unusual about it. Anne and I looked but didn't notice anything.

"Look at the leaves," Eruch directed and then, knowing how careless and unobservant most of us were, added "Carefully."

When we did this, we saw that there were different kinds of leaves on the tree almost as if they were from two different trees. I said this to Eruch and he said laughingly, "You are correct. There are two different trees though the trunk seems to be one. But if you look at it carefully you can see that there are two trunks very close to one another."

When I looked at it carefully I saw what Eruch was pointing out.

Eruch then said, "I want all residents to live like these two trees. They are both different in all respects — different leaves, different fruits, and completely different species, yet they exist in harmony, side by side. When trees, who are less evolved can live together, why can't we? I would like to see the residents who come from different countries, who speak different languages and who have different personalities to live together as one unit, as one family, just like these two trees are doing. Live together in harmony."

I remember one of Eruch's favorite quotes, which he used to have read out in the hall from time to time, went something like, "Harmony is the reflection of God's oneness in the world of duality."

The funny thing was that the more Eruch emphasized the need for harmony, the more I was confused and irritated that he didn't do more to establish it by 'cracking the whip' and getting all the residents to tow the line.

And I was not shy about expressing this view, though for all of my complaints, I have to admit that I myself was very hot tempered and full of fire when I first came to live as a resident. I was very lucky to be given the opportunity to live at Meherabad, the Trust Compound and Meherazad for varying lengths of time.

When I was staying at Meherazad, one of the ways I used to pass the extra time I had with Eruch was to argue with him about his ideas on harmony and other things over which I disagreed with him. Although I agreed that harmony was a nice idea, I felt that the way to achieve it was by correcting all of those who were misbehaving. I felt that when it came to Baba's work, it was especially important not to compromise over what one felt was right.

Eruch's pleas for harmony were beyond my capacity for understanding. I even told myself that it would be cowardice to give in to something other than what you believed in for the sake of harmony.

I expressed this to Eruch. One day I said, "Eruch, I believe in harmony. I also believe that as Baba lovers we should make an effort to be loving to others, even when someone has been rude to us. I agree that we should do our best to win over or change a person who is rude through our loving behavior. But, what if after we have made all our best efforts, the person continues to be rude, continues to hurt everyone by doing wrongful things, and refuses to change, no matter how much love you shower on him? Shouldn't such a person be stopped, in whatever way he can be stopped?"

Eruch shook his head, "That would be your weakness if you resorted to such means."

"Then what should one do?" I asked.

"Give in," Eruch replied without hesitation. "For the sake of harmony let him have his way. Harmony is more important than anything. It should be maintained at all costs."

"But Eruch," I protested, "should we not take a stand on the truth? If someone is doing wrong, isn't it our moral duty to stop him?"

"If you take such a stand," Eruch replied, "it will be a stand on falseness and not truth. From the point of view of Meher Baba, there is no such thing as good or bad. Both are equally binding. Both fall in the domain of falseness — call them relative degrees of falseness."

This answer did not appease me. I said, "Eruch, I am not talking from the spiritual point of view or Meher Baba's point of view. I am talking about the point of view of society, which operates on certain values, common sense values of right and wrong."

Eruch replied very calmly, "Not only is it all illusion, but society operates on values based on relative falseness. We know that what is true for one society or country may be considered wrong and illegal in another. The only clear perspective is the spiritual perspective of Meher Baba. If you see everything from that perspective, things will be clear. But the moment you try to break your life into compartments by separating the spiritual from your day to day activities, then a conflict arises."

I couldn't understand Eruch and asked him to explain it in simple terms.

"It's all very simple," he said. "Every soul in creation is on its journey to God. We are all at different places in that journey. Call them levels of relative truth or relative falseness. What level a particular soul is on, depends on his sanskaras. To a "good" person, a thief may appear as "bad," but a saint on the 5th or 6th plane, will see both of them, the good and the bad man, as souls bound in the falseness of illusion. A God-Realized soul, on the other hand, will see all three of them, including the saint, as still caught up in falseness, although a 5th or 6th plane saint is closer to the Truth.

"So, from the point of view of a God-Realized soul, every soul is bound in the falseness of illusion. Remember, there is no such thing as right or wrong. Baba gave us an example once. Baba pointed to the sky and said, 'If the sky is the 7th plane of consciousness, or God-Realization, then the person on the 6th plane is someone standing on the Meherazad roof, and gross-conscious souls are on the ground. The distance from the ground to the roof, about 14 feet, is the distance from the gross plane to the 6th plane, whereas the distance from the roof top to the sky — which is infinite — is the distance from the 6th to the 7th plane.' This is the comparison Baba used, to give us an idea."

I still could not accept all of this, though I liked the stories and thought I understood them. I still felt that as human beings we have a moral duty, if we are in the right and if someone else is in the wrong, not to give in, but to do our best to see that right prevails. I told Eruch this, and he sighed and said, "All right, I will tell you something that happened to me when I was with Baba.

"A person had come from Poona for Baba's darshan. The man was known all over Poona to be a big scoundrel, and yet, when he came, Baba praised him in front of everyone. Baba was calling everyone's attention to this man, saying how much love this man had and how this man truly loved Baba and that he was really close to Baba's heart.

"I could barely control myself. As soon as the man left, I blurted out my mind to Baba. I told Baba, 'This man is well known throughout Poona as a rogue and a scoundrel, and yet you, Baba, are praising him.'

"Baba said, 'What do you know about him? You see his actions only in this life, but I can see all his previous lives and I tell you honestly, he is a very good soul and has done good work; he is close to me.'

"Ever since that day, I have stopped judging people based on their actions."

Although I intellectually grasped what Eruch had said, my heart could not accept it at that time. But now that Eruch has gone from our midst, all of a sudden my heart has awakened to his words. "No such thing as right or wrong. Every soul in creation is at a different level trying to progress on its journey toward God."

It brings to mind what Bal Natu had once said to me on this subject: "Harmony does not mean that we agree with one another, but that we respect each other's different views."

Bal further explained, "Different personalities, different approaches, and different thoughts and views should not come in the way of us loving one another."

Rustom Falahati. © 2006 Rustom B. Falahati