De Simple Silence.

[modifier] The Problems of Recognizing Authentic Paths to Inner Transformation

[modifier] You Would Be A Crazy Fool

Dick Anthony and John Welwood

Welwood : I think one of the most horrific things to secular rationality is the idea of obedience or devotion to a spiritual master. The idea of obedience to a master contradicts the modern theme of the separative autonomy of the individual ego. Thus it flies in the face of secular rationality completely. I’m just wondering what is your experience of that, or your sense of devotion to a master.

Anthony : Most of my experience following Meher Baba has been since he died. However, when he was still in the body—while he was still alive—I asked him in my letter to tell me what to do and he refused. At least, he refused in the letter. He said he would guide me internally. And that was fairly typical of him. He didn’t do a lot of externally telling people what to do. But, there was the notion that if he did, that you would be better off to do it. There’s this conception that he reads your past lives and your present state of karma ; he knows what would be uniquely desirable for you to do at any one point, so that if he was willing to suggest something for you, you would be a crazy fool not to do it. The people who lived with him on a day-to-day basis, the small number of people who were allowed to live with him, did obey him in that specific sense. Other followers who didn’t live with him would have if they could have. So, for a certain lucky few, it came up as a daily issue. For most who followed him, it was more of a symbolic issue, such as : « I wish he would tell me what to do, because if he would, I would do it. I would accept it. » And, I certainly go along with that. Of course he left discourses which express general spiritual principles, and his followers do their best to apply them in concrete situations, so this involves a kind of obedience, I suppose. Many experience some sort of inner guidance from him as I feel that I do, and this involves a sort of obedience as well.

Welwood : How do you feel about the general idea of devotion to a master?

Anthony : It’s been a sticking point for me, because I’ve never liked doing what people told me to do. I’ve not gotten along well with authority figures, and it’s been one of my social problems, to the extent that I’ve had any. But, once Meher Baba did that thing in the little cabin at Meher Spiritual Center, I felt differently. Now I try to figure out what he wants me to do. It’s a constant theme in my life : What does he want me to do, what is it at every moment?

Special Thanks to Jim Watson for the donation of this priceless book.

[modifier] I'm Not Outside Of You

Dick Anthony

After I’d been there for four or five years, friends of mine started getting into various kinds of mysticism. I was a skeptic about supernatural matters. I didn’t believe in reincarnation or masters ; I didn’t believe that there were people who could manipulate karma. It sounded crazy to me. I did have a good friend who spent a weekend at a place called the Meher Baba Center, and he seemed to be in a good space when he came back. It didn’t sound particularly attractive to me, but he did really seem to be in a good space. So, one weekend I was working on my Ph.D. dissertation, got extremely bored, and I decided to get out of town for a weekend. The way this center was described made it seem like a good place to go for a kind of relief. It was 500 acres of virgin forest, with a fresh water lake, a few little cabins in the middle of the forest, and a mile of ocean beach, and not very many people went there. It was relatively deserted.

So, I called up to find out if I could go there for the weekend, and I could, and I went there, and I was the only person on the place. There were two elderly ladies who lived in a house on the edge of the 500 acres, who had lived in India with Meher Baba for a number of years, had come back and had started this center. In the middle of the 500 acres were all these little cabins, and they took me to a cabin, and left. Here I was in the middle of all these trees. It was great. I looked around, looked at different buildings, and decided it was a nice place. After a while I went into this one little cabin in which Meher Baba had held private interviews with his disciples when he was there ; he had stayed at this center three times in the fifties, twice for two or three weeks at a time. When I went into that cabin, something started to happen. The next thing I knew, Meher Baba was present in the cabin. Now, I’ll just describe this experience, talking in ordinary language, even though it seems bizarre to describe it in this way. It didn’t seem bizarre to me at the time ; it only seemed so afterwards.

Some presence came into the cabin, which I somehow knew was Meher Baba. I didn’t see anything visually, but there was some striking presence there, which started to talk to me. And, there was a feeling of great attractiveness and peacefulness and a sort of loving quality, and the discussion was somewhat philosophical. It had to do with what it was that I was looking for, how to regain transcendence, and how it related to various social concerns. He was very persuasive and convincing. It went on for roughly twenty minutes, I’m not sure exactly.

But, no matter how persuasive the conversation seemed, it eventually occurred to me that these arguments he was using seemed to contain an implicit background assumption, which was that if you accepted them, you would also accept him as a master. That was so outlandish, compared to anything I could imagine myself doing, that I eventually thought, well, it doesn’t matter how interesting these arguments are, I could never follow a master. It’s crazy ; I’m an existentialist.

So I said to him, « Well, this is all very well, but I could never follow an external master. » I was just going to terminate the « interview » and walk out at that point, and leave the center. Then he responded to me, « I’m not outside of you ; I’m inside of you. » When he said that phrase, there was an uprush of consciousness from some very deep level of my being. It seemed much deeper than I had ever felt before, and at that level of consciousness, everything seemed unified. The distinction between inner reality and outer reality fell away and separative consciousness seemed illusory. At that level, he seemed, with his presence, to be the reality that made that unity the truth. That phrase, « I’m not outside of you, I’m inside of you, » dissolved the distinction between myself and himself, myself and all other selves in general. The notion of an external master was no longer meaningful ; he didn’t seem to be separate from myself, so my objections to following him seemed ridiculous. I was swept away into a feeling of love and reverence.

Special Thanks to Jim Watson for the donation of this priceless book.

Edited by Dick Anthony, Bruce Ecker, and Ken Wilber

© 1987 by Paragon House Publishers, New York