Sobs And Throbs
De Simple Silence.
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Contents |
[modifier] Sobs And Throbs Or Some Spiritual Sidelights
[modifier] The Gem Of An Institution
Since the 1st of May, 1927, when the Meher Ashram was declared open with four Brahmin, three Maratha and three Mahar boys (all Hindus of different castes) at Meherabad, near the village of Arangaon, in the Ahmednagar District, much has been said and written about it in the public in many countries of the East and the West.
Yet to scintillate the multicoloured rays of faith, hope, devotion, love, service and sprituality that this rare gem of an institution has generated, reflecting the Founder’s neutral Divine lustre, is a subject beyond the scope of this narrative. Beside its spiritual aspect, the secular educational progress of the Ashramites is no less wonderful.
While the crowning glory of it is the creation of a real little Saint of a boy fifteen years old, by name Abdulla Ruknuddin Ahwazi, now popularly known as the Chhota Baba, for whom the whole world is a mere dream as an experienced fact and by whom the Omnipresence of the Omnipotent is being actually experienced and realized continuously.
With the advent of fourteen boys from Persia, two of whom were Mohamedans and the rest Zoroastrians, the Persian section was opened on the 17th of July, 1927 in the Hazrat Babajan High School, which is attached to the Ashram. This foreign advent, as well as the first class facilities of Persian teaching, cause quite a flutter amongst the local Mogul community, and gradually the number of Mogul boys in the Ashram began to swell beyond expectations.
To all appearances, the first four months were, for the most part, passed in arranging the hundred and one mundane details that an Institution of this magnitude entailed.
So far as an external manifestation of the Master’s internal workings for the Ashram was concerned, the 1st of September, 1927, witnessed the first spark of spirituality. Spiritual classes were opened that evening, and since then the boys were begun to be explained the spirit of all religions, the lives of Divine Heroes in every nation, and discourses on divinity and spirituality itself were given by competent speakers under the personal instruction of the Master for one hour every day.
Within another month, the Master seemed all engrossed in the Ashram affairs and began to remain there for hours together, freely mixing with the boys to the extent of actually playing, and at times eating with them. In November, quite a change came about in the atmosphere, mysticism was rampant everywhere ; though at the same time the secular education of the boys was never overlooked, or allowed to suffer in the least.
On the 2nd of November, 1927, the Master passed an extraordinary order. All the boys in the Ashram were strictly forbidden to speak with anyone save amongst themselves, or with the Ashram authorities. Even the school-teachers were instructed not to talk with the boys after the school hours.
On the 10th of the same month, His Holiness left eating solid food and began to remain on tea or a little milk, which system He continued for nearly five months and a half at a stretch, leaving the milk also for some days in the course of this prolonged fasting.
And a week after taking to this system, he began to convey to the boys every now and then, through stray hints and lengthy explanations, the importance of Love, concentration and meditation, and thus directly began to inspire the boys to Divine Aspiration !
[modifier] Syed Ali
Just at this opportune moment, on the 20th of November, 1927, one fine morning, two Moghul gentlemen arrived at Meherabad, seeking admission for the boys that they had brought with them, into the Ashram. One of them was Mr. Syed Haji Mahomed of Bombay with his son, Syed Ali, the hero, who barely looked to have seen more than fourteen summers. The boy cannot be said to be fair, though a pair of dancing brown eyes lend an air of distinction to his round face, with a slightly flat nose, a broad mouth and a prominent chin of determination.
At first, the Master refused admission ! And He had good reasons besides His spiritual foresight to do so, where Moghuls were concerned. As early as the month of July, amongst the newly-admitted Moghul boys, were the two sons of a well-known Persian Educationist of Bombay.
Before admitting these two boys, the gentleman in question was distinctly made aware of all the rules and regulations, the aim and object, and the general standard of living in the institution. He accepted all these after a personal thorough inspection of the Ashram, and gave a solemn promise to abide by them.
But within a few days, he offered to provide a special diet for the boys, saying that the food provided to them in the Ashram was not satisfactory ! The Master was of course greatly displeased with this proposed breach of the Ashram discipline, and with the way the gentleman kept his word of honour !
The boys were dismissed, and in the course of a remark, with a very accurate, foresight, the Master conveyed, « These Moghuls are word-breakers, and not to be trusted. »
But Ali’s father persisted in pleading for a re-consideration of the Master’s apparently arbitrary decision which was twice repeated by the Master with an equal persistence. In the course of this parley, the boy did not fail to show his mettle.
As if drawn by a subtle magnet, he seemed very eager to be admitted, and began to argue his own case and try to reply to the objections raised against his admission in very intelligent and clear-cut terms ! An average boy of his age is bound to fight shy in the presence of elders and strangers, particularly if they happen to be the officers of an institution in which he seeks admission for education.
This unusual pluck of the boy at once endeared him to one of the Ashram officials, Mr. Kaikhushru Aspandiar Afseri. In the third attempt for a reconsideration before the Master, Mr. Afseri personally intervened and pleaded for Ali’s admission in a very touching way. If ever the Master can be said to have a weakness, it is this : He is powerless against an appeal from the depths of the heart of His disciples.
And Mr. Afseri succeeded where the very angels would have failed. Ali was accepted and forthwith admitted into the fold of the blessed, the Meher Ashram. Of course, his father was explicitly acquainted with all the relevant details of the Institution, the possibilities in spiritual and secular knowledge of the boys, and the cosmopolitan life led by them ; and he readily gave his consent in writing to all the rules of the Ashram, including the one that the boy will not be allowed to leave the Institution until the course is finished or within five years in the least, without the Superintendent’s permission, which may be withheld for any period within the above limit without assigning reason whatsoever.
The boy soon proved himself a noble character and pure-minded and as innocent as a lamb. His tendency towards spirituality and attraction towards the Master were spontaneous. From the very outset, Ali was often seen sitting by the Master whenever he could spare the time for doing so. He is not sentimental but very sensitive. The slightest reproach has been found enough to bring tears to his otherwise laughing eyes.
Another fine attribute of the hero is that he is not talkative. During the daily spiritual discourse, he had never haggled over details or caused an unnecessary interruption to the speaker, but displayed a remarkable power of picking up facts and spirit of the subject in his own way, sitting silently or looking here and there, as if really pre-occupied.
But his apparent silence and childish fidgetting did not mean absent-mindedness or disinterestedness. Whenever abruptly asked by the speaker to explain what he had heard in the course of the discourse, in nine cases out of ten, the boy would give a remarkable account of all that he had heard, coupled with his own comments on the subject distinctly and freely, or in the tenth case would say outright, « I did not understand. »
These particular traits of his silence, restlessness and fidgetting, once made his class teacher cry out, « Ali, you don’t seem to follow me ; what did I say now ? » And lo ! the boy rattled out the whole passage that the teacher had just quoted almost word-to-word.
Because of this very good rnemory, Ali seldom has to cram. He generally remembers facts and meanings by hearing and reading them once or twice. His progress in the school is no less brilliant.
The day following his admission to the Ashram he was examined by the school authorities throughly before being put into the Fifth Persian and First English Standard of the school. Within one month, Ali began to read the well-known Persian work, Gulistan with graceful ease, and had to be promoted to the second English standard, so good was his progress in this foreign language too. At the time of writing this, Ali was in the Fourth English, and had completed his Persian course. Of all his virtues, explicit obedience seems to be his watch-word. Twice, he has been reported having wept simply because some boys would not obey the Master properly !
Then again Ali is very outspoken. Later on, when his little heart had begun to throb with Divine Love, he used at times to become quite a dunce in the class but would never try to make a secret of it, and admitted the fact frankly before his class teachers, adding one of his pet phrases, « O God, what can I do ? My heart is cold ! » In the same way, when he felt like brilliant, as he actually is, he never felt shy in blurting out, « What a good boy I have become now, Sir ; haven’t I ? »
And with all these serious qualities, Ali is not of a reserved nature. On the contrary, he freely and cheerfully mixes with all the other boys and is very active, almost to the point of innocent mischief. In fact, he is so very agile that for him to go about here and there, jumping and dancing, is as simple and easy as to a squirrel.
If there is any trouble to the boys in the institution — if it could be said to be « trouble » in the ordinary sense of the word, since no organization is free from it to a certain degree — it is the strict observance of all disciplinary rules nowhere else enforced.
The slightest breach of any rule by any boy is at once reported to the authorities concerned without an exception. And so, it is no small credit that he is rarely reported, which shows how strictly he observes the discipline of the Ashram.
Yet of all these fine characteristics, Love can fairly be said to be the diamond and crowning jewel of Ali. We shall see in the next chapter more about this diamond, and how it was cut and polished by the Divine Jeweler.
[modifier] The Divine Lift
We have seen in the second chapter, that just two days before the hero appeared on the scene, the Master had begun to influence the boys directly to higher aspirations with constant hints, and an occasional silent lecture on love.
These stray explanations and lectures on Divinity and Spirituality, that the Master had conveyed so far, since the year 1922, to His many disciples and visitors, if put together, would, I make bold to say, provide an unprecedented illumination on Divine points such as has never appeared in print or manuscript to this day !
While the story of the deep effects, that these discourses have had on many a stony heart, would be another inspirational reading for those who aspire to spirituality. And much as I like to repeat some of the discourses here, the question of space and the sequence of this narrative compel me to leave them for a separate work.
Though I cannot help adding that it was only one of these that really saved me from the clutches of Maya, and made me surrender myself to the Master some six years ago.
But the series of Divine Explanations, that His Holiness was pleased to convey since the 23rd of November, two days after the advent of Ali, made all the young and old, who had the good fortune to be present at the time, to hold their breath with amazement. From that day, the separate sections of the spiritual instruction classes, such as the Gujarati, Maratha, Persian and Urdu, were postponed for some time. For more than a month after this date, the Master continued to convey for a couple of hours every evening these explanations, and all the boys as well as the older disciples were held spellbound with rapt attention and enthusiasm.
And the wonder of it was, that the Master did this merely through gestures and alphabet pointing, maintaining His grim silence through-out. Besides, He conveyed the deep subject matter as He alone can convey, in such a way that the little ones were no less interested and enthralled than the grown-up.
Since then, these have been compiled and form a small booklet, which can well be styled Creation and its Causes. It is all very novel, fantastic and fairy-tale-like, yet it is the most logical explanation of Divinity and the whole of the creation as far as the reach of the intellect allows, that has ever been brought to light in this way.
The suns and the moons, the skies and the planes, the ethereal, mineral, vegetable, animal and human kingdoms, births, deaths, heaven and hell, the subtle and the mental worlds, Saints and Prophets, and the very source of all, the Soul of souls, are described, explained and shown by the Master as one would describe a city, explain tho effects of wine, and show what is music after actually seeing, drinking and hearing them all. He would explain and elucidate points so very clearly and logically as would carry the hearers almost to the verge of subjective experience.
So far as this Creation and its Causes concerns this narrative it was the Master’s inimitable tact in creating the moral of love out of all the various subjects at the end of the discourse every evening. « Love and you will find Me. I am ready to make you Vivekanandas and Ram Thirthas, Alis and Arjuns ; the only prize asked for is Love. Spirituality is offered as a loot. Love alone will get the lion’s share. Divinity is being auctioned, make the highest bid with all the Love that you can create and command. »
Such was the gist of the Master’s constant remarks that He kept on adding, from time to time, during and after this special spiritual class as the spiritual sauce to the great Divine Feast that was freely being served to the lucky Ashramites.
On the 28th November, 1927, in the course of such remarks, the Master even went to the extent of disclosing a part of His internal game to the boys and conveyed through the usual signs, « At first I had intended to advance you gradually in the path, but the time of the great spiritual outburst that takes place in the world at long intervals is near at hand, and so I have changed the programme. I am going to advance a few amongst you, who will be ready with Love, very soon. It is not late yet. Let your hearts strive and strain to the utmost and create Love and feelings for me. »
But amidst all such suggestions, the boys were equally impressed upon not to strain their brains. They were frequently reminded that painful attempts would not avail in creating Love as free attempts, made with joyous enthusiasm and boyish glee, would.
Besides firing their intellect with spirituality in this way, Divinity was directly imparted to the boys by the Master through frequent embraces and pats and fondling them for a number of times in a day. At times, the boys were patted till they fretted and fumed with Love and feelings, and out of sheer ecstasy even disobeyed the Master when asked to go away or take to studies, save the hero, who even in the fever heat of Love, stuck to his watchword, obedience, and never defied the Master through word or deed, as did some of the other boys amidst the sobs and throbs of their little hearts.
Thus within a fortnight, the atmosphere became surcharged with Love in the Meher Ashram. Many of the boys, and some of the grown-up members of the institution began also to look greatly changed. They became reserved and less talkative. They were frequently found preoccupied in the thoughts of the Master, and were found averse to eating, playing and sleeping. Ali led this group prominently.
To a casual observer, Ali still remained the same picture of innocent mischief and boyish activity, but when watched carefully, the great change in his heart was easily perceptible in many ways. Every now and then, the Master’s name was on his lips. His hands too worked with the vibrations of his heart, and scribbled out his uppermost thoughts in words such as « Meher Baba is my Master, » « Aga Ali, the son of Meher Baba, » « This book belongs to the humble servant of Meher Baba, » etc. on his books, papers and on all odd things that he came across with, and on which the music of his heart could be reproduced whether through a pencil, a pen or a scratch with a piece of stone or metal.
Besides, things that belonged to the Master seemed to have a great attraction for the boy, and he could be often seen fondling and playing with the Master’s sandals, pillows, coat, etc. Unlike many of the other boys, Ali did not seem to be much attracted towards the Master’s photos or in playing with and adoring them, but was very keen in collecting the Master’s hair, nails and even a piece of cotton wool that He might have once used to stuff His ears with.
He would treasure these up as one would treasure diamonds and pearls and constantly feast his eyes on them. But the most remarkable point was the great attraction that Ali began to have for the Master’s personality. Just as the needle would rush at the magnet when brought near to it, Ali used to seek proximity of the Master at the first opportunity, and remained by Him as long as he could. Still, for a casual observer, there was nothing like a show about him.
It was however on the 17th December that the depth of his feelings came to be known generally. Some days before this, he got eczema, on his hand, and on this day, the Master decided for Ali to remain in the hospital, aloof from every-day life, till it was cured.
And when he was removed there, tears began to roll down his checks in a string of sparkling pearls. Why ? Simply because he could not bear the thought of separation from the Master even for a few days. He did not however allow this fact to escape from his lips voluntarily. It was only when the Master argued with him for about an hour or so that the real reason for his crying came to light.
His weeping did not cease, until the Master conveyed to him a solemn promise that he would not have to remain in the hospital for more than two days, and that during these two days, He, the Master, would go to see him occasionally.
[modifier] All Aflame !
On the 20th December, 1927, the forty-first day of His fast, the Master confined Himself in a double room in the near vicinity of the Meher Ashram. This room was built on the spot as early as in the month of July of the same year, some five months in advance and none could make any head or tail of it at that time.
About six feet in length, equally deep underground and four feet in breadth, with a small flight of stairs just sufficient for a single person to pass through this crypt-like place at a time, it was solidly built in lime and stone and resembled a steel safe.
In place of a roof, a flat piece of wooden board was fixed over the top closing the room in from all sides, save the small opening above for the stairs. Immediately above this peculiar pit of a room, another was built of wooden scantlings, bamboo matting and iron sheets. This latter room was a bit more spacious than the crypt right below it. A door was fixed at one end of this upper room for the attendants and visitors who were but seldom let in.
The room had three other openings as windows. One of this was at the back the « Riyazat-gah » or « Sadhak Ashram, » a set of five separate rooms, each one just large enough for a person to lie down comfortably, wherein five of the grown-up disciples had also imprisoned themselves just a few days before the Master confined Himself.
The wonderful phenomena witnessed by some of this latter group during their voluntary imprisonment does not concern this narrative, that fact has simply been mentioned to give an idea of the wide scope of the Master’s internal workings. To continue the description of the Master’s prison, the remaining two windows were in the front overlooking the Meher Ashram, its play grounds and the rest of the premises connected with it.
One of these was enclosed with wirenetting for the Master to look through when he retired into the upper room, and the other served the main purpose of enabling Him to appear before the disciples, boys and visitors, as He generally did throughout the day and also during the early hours of dawn. The Master remained locked up here till the 26th of February, 1928. During the period of two months and eight days the Master never came out of this peculiar lock-up and, usually retired for the night in the vault below.
On the same day, the 20th of December, 1927, the Master passed another extra-ordinary order. « All the boys in the Institution must not even be touched with the hand by any one including the class teachers and the school and Ashram authorities. » All these were but the faint, gross indications of some powerful Divine current having been let loose in the surroundings, yet none of the most enthusiastic of the disciples were ever prepared for the « ALL AFLAME » result that followed quickly.
The fire of Love that was smouldering silently of late in many of the tiny hearts, within a week of the Master’s self-imprisonment began to give out sparks. Strings of pearl-like tears began to flow freely from many little eyes every now and then without any apparent reason.
This much was certain that it was neither due to any physical pain or privations, nor was it due to any grief. Many of the boys on the contrary found relief and a kind of pleasure in weeping out their hearts. Meditation and concentration, weeping and crying, appealed to them more than eating, sleeping and playing. They were tears of Love.
Who weeps for Love, he weeps the best, Who cries for else, he does but jest.
It was this fine couplet that the boys were rendering into reality and action. Even during the school recess for a few minutes, the boys could not help giving vent to the throbs of their hearts through soul-stirring sobs, and the school compound used to present a touching scene for a few minutes throughout during this first week of the Master’s self-imprisonment.
Everywhere the huddled-up figures of the boys were found engrossed in meditation or sobbing out the throbs of their little hearts all over the ground and in nooks and corners of the surrounding premises. That even this separation of a few hours from the Master’s proximity during the school periods was unbearable and painful to these boys was an open secret.
But lo ! The New Year Day of the Christian era the 1st of January, 1928, which also happened to be the fifty-second day of the Master’s fasting and the twelfth one since He confined Himself, witnessed the most magnificient outburst of Divinity that has perhaps ever manifested itself in the world in such a way !
As if the deep-rooted Divine emotion of the select few had set the rest of the boys into commotion, the majority of them began to cry openly every now and then throughout the day. But it was in the evening that the climax was reached.
From the one to the last every creed and caste, the boys in the Ashram burst into tears and began to weep and wail as if all their dear ones were reported to be dead at a stroke. For about an hour between seven and eight in the evening, this wonderful phenomenon simply held the onlookers spell-bound. The shrieks and cries could even be heard a quarter of a mile away from the Ashram !
Attempts were of course made by the authorities in pacifying the boys and ascertaining from them the reason for this outburst. But it was all to no purpose. They seemed to be all engrossed in crying and deaf to all else. « BABA, BABA, » the name by which the Master is generally known, were the only words that could be heard distinctly in all this tumult.
Only this much was as clear as daylight that however wildly they might have been crying, when brought in the presence of the Master, they became silent with a magical swiftness.
The following day, during the twenty minutes of recess, a similar outburst was witnessed on the school grounds, but the wonder of it was that at the sound of the warning-bell for resumption of classes, it all came to an abrupt end, although the select few seemed still struggling for subjecting their hearts to the command of the Master in the shape of the ringing of the bell. After a day or two more, such collective crying of the boys ceased ; yet many still continued weeping now and then for days together.
But in all this inborn and locally affected crying, the weeping of Ali was the most singular. The throbs of his heart, though seemingly vibrating his very bones, brought out almost silent sobs.
He never talked sentimentally or in lofty words. He neither desired spiritual advancement nor asked for Divine enlightenment. The proximity of the Master was all in all to give him peace and contentment. The happiness of his heart, and the tranquility of his mind when he happened to be near the Master was not a mystery even to a casual observer. At such moments, he used to look the very picture of peace and calmness.
From the second week of January, however the Master began to avoid close contact with Ali. This « crack-lover, » as my friend Mr. Dadachanji, one of the faithful disciples of my Master likes to call him in his notes and diaries, was kept at arm’s length for some time. Perhaps he was sufficiently surcharged with Love to the bursting point. Although the Master avoided personal touch, He seemed bent upon keeping Ali’s feelings strung to the last tune. The boy was often called to the Master only to be dismissed with a curt enquiry instead of an embrace or a loving pat that he so long used to get.
This treatment of the Master was a sort of fuel to the fire of Love that was all aflame by now in his little heart. In spite of his characteristic suavity, Ali could not curb the twitches and twinges that flickered on his usually complacent features on such occasions. He suffered and bore all this bravely and patiently as only a true lover can bear and suffer.
For a heart that is not aglow with such deep Divine emotions, it is simply impossible to imagine even one tenth of the poignancy of the pain that was caused to this brave and bold lover through such deliberate separation and intentional pin-pricks of the Master. And for all that, Ali neither disobeyed the irritating commands of the Master, nor uttered an undignified word to His face, much though he fretted and fumed when he got away from Him.
As if to show to what extent this noble soul could go in controlling his emotion and obeying His commands, the Master on the evening of the 17th January, in the presence of many other boys and disciples sent for Ali nearly a dozen times, each time dismissing him on one pretext or the other without letting him come within His loving clasp, for which the hero was as impatient as a fish out of water. The Master Himself could not help bursting into a silent eulogy of Ali that He conveyed through His usual gestures to those around Him.
The gist of it was : —
« Here is the concrete example of that noble sentiment, ‘Masti may bhi sar apna Saki kay kadam par ho,’ i.e. let my head remain on the feet of my Master, even when I am in the overpowered state of Love. Ali is in the overpowered state, still he is not indifferent in carrying out the commands in spite of the tumult in his heart. »
On the 28th of January, the Master openly declared Ali to be quite ready with sufficient Love to enable him to be taken away from the domain of the « Bound » to the region of the « Free », but for a final touch from Him !
Then why this « touch » was withheld ? Well, here came in the devil as mentioned on the opening page of this book, and formed quite a story by itself which will be duly narrated in a separate chapter.
In the meantime, let me tell my reader as to how and why the Master, pending this final touch which has been withheld to this date, gave Ali a glimpse of that, which is beyond the gross.
[modifier] Beyond The Gross
What a coincidence ! Just twenty-four hours after the Master made the memorable declaration about Ali’s readiness, it was also proved to the hilt in a very tangible way. The day following the one described in the foregoing chapter, i.e. the 29th of January, in the evening at about 6 :30, as usual of late, the Master began to impart some pin-pricks to Ali.
In the presence of many of the boys and disciples, Ali was taunted with remarks such as, « He is very keen about his studies these days and has no thoughts for Me, and is always thinking about his father. » The effect was soon evident. It was the first time that Ali lost control over his heart. Much as he tried, he could not help sobbing out loudly amidst profuse tears that were rapidly rolling down his cheeks ; and at this display, which was very unlike him, the boy was so very exasperated that with a jump he got away from the Master’s seat and began to run at random as fast as his legs could carry him.
Mr. Afseri, who happened to be standing near by amongst the disciples, was signed by the Master to follow him, and he soon overtook the boy. Afseri, with his excellent command over the Persian language, and an inborn sympathy for these loving souls generally always succeeded in restoring the composure of Ali and the likes, but this time, for all his attempts and persuasions, he failed to pacify Ali. And therefore he had to take the boy again to the Master who was as usual seated by the window inside the upper room.
But the proximity of the Master made the hero go more wild with his sobbing and crying which had by now become terrible to look at. The sobs were heart-rending and Ali’s whole frame shook, as if vibrating with a high voltage electric current, while tears rolled down from his eyes in an unbreakable chain.
After some time, the Master signed to Mr. Afseri to bring the boy inside. By this time, Ali was almost unconscious, and so the gentleman had actually to lift him up while conducting him inside. Scrupulously avoiding a touch of His Person, the Master however allowed Ali to be brought very close to Him, and began to convey some pacifying words.
It was nearly 9 :30 at night, this piquant drama had continued for nearly three hours, and for all the Master’s remonstrations, Ali seemed beyond the capability of controlling his soul-stirring sobs. On the contrary, the situation was growing more acute every minute.
The on-lookers were turned into statues, speechless and breathless with wonder at the sight, specially when the boy seemed breathing his last amidst those terrible sobs.
At this, the Master left arguing with « intellect to intellect’ and seemed forced to take recourse to the language of the heart. And did anybody hear it ? No, many saw it. It was a pat, an embrace and a kiss !
Let me tell you exactly how. The Master gathered Ali up in His arms, patted his head, imprinted a silent kiss on his forehead, and then placed His head on the boy’s heaving bosom for two or three minutes, and finished.
Ali became as calm as a mill pond. No sound, no vibrations, no movements. He seemed to be sound asleep ! Not the slightest trace of the terrible storm remained visible on his features. For about fifteen to twenty minutes, he was left undisturbed in this divine coma ; then the Master beckoned to Afseri to wake him up. But here was another surprise for the on-lookers ! Ali would not open his eyes, and when his eye-lids were pulled up, the iris was found turned inward. He was looking beyond the gross !
Under the Master’s instructions, several questions were then repeatedly put to him, but no reply was received. However, after some time to the question « How are you, Aga Ali, » there came a reply « Khush » (happy) in a very feeble voice, which seemed to come from a great distance. The following two questions were similarly replied by him.
« What do you see ? »
« Baba ! »
« Where ? »
« Everywhere ! »
To see everywhere that which is everywhere is happiness indeed and worth a thousand deaths, but alas ! Even a thousand deaths are not sufficient to gain this sight. In the course of a discussion, the writer once had with a Hindu Divine, the latter when told, ‘ »What tedious expectation ? One has to wait for years and years to gather the fruit, » He blurted out, « My dear Sir, years ? If you are offered perfect sight at the end of ten thousand years, take it. Strike the bargain, it is very cheap.[... ] »
But for one, to use Dr. Reynold A. Nicholson’s words, « who not only journey to God, i.e. passes from plurality to Unity, but in and with God, i.e. continuing in the unitive state, he returns with God to the phenomenal world, » like my Master to give such a sight is a question of a touch, and a glance of Grace !
I don’t mean that Ali got the Perfect Sight that day. Rather it was a mere glimpse of THAT which is « beyond the gross, » but all the same it was a genuine Sight. To go into the details of the degrees of Internal Sight is not within the compass of this little book. Suffice it to say, that Ali, one day, will get as perfect a sight as gained by his more fortunate co-ashramite, ABDULLA, the « Chhota Baba, » during this very month of January 1928, when he received the « final touch » from the Master, which no power on earth could withhold at the right moment.
Maya, with all its devilish paraphernalia of war will be helpless in the end, although it has, for the time being, succeeded in separating the Moth from the Flame.
Now to revert to the sequence, at the last reply of the boy, « Everywhere, » the Master quickly signed for his removal. He was taken into the hospital, and given some suitable treatment for the physical exhaustion and shock that he had incidentally been subjected to and made comfortable on one of the beds there.
One of the disciples was instructed to remain awake by the hero’s side for the rest of the night and report his condition. The Master Himself did not retire to the lower chamber till two o’clock that night, and continued enquiring for the boy’s state every now and then during those four hours. In the course of a remark, His Holiness was pleased to convey, « Much as I liked to leave him alone for some time, his terrible sobs force Me to give him the Sight, but for that he would have dropped his body. »
The next three days, Ali was detained in the hospital and kept under strict nursing. He looked well and moved about freely since the very next morning, but seemed dazed and dumb-founded and there was a vacant look in his eyes, while he did not take food for the first twenty-four hours.
On the third day, the 1st of February, a marked change came about Ali. In place of lethargy, keen activity was seen in his movements. Often he was seen running here and there all over the Ashram ground as if in chase of something that was receding away from him, and looked very disturbed and ruffled. To a casual observer, the boy looked stark mad ! In spite of it all, how very considerate was he about the Master will be seen from the following episode.
For the first time, the secular education of the boys had been neglected for some days during this upheaval of Love. But on this day, the 1st of February, the Master desired all the boys to once again begin attending the school strictly according to the fixed time tables.
Many boys at first persisted in being let alone, and some had substantial grounds to do so, considering their disturbed intellect and throbbing hearts, but all gave in after more or less of persuasion. Of all, Ali had the greatest right to be exempted, since, when he could not think of eating and playing, or remaining at ease even for an hour or so, at one fixed place, how could he even think of attending school ?
Perhaps, he would not have been called upon to do so without even requesting for an exemption, but what a noble soul ! Just because the Master would be pleased, Ali himself appeared before Him, and of his own accord, offered to go to school. Only those who have a proper idea as to an ache in the heart and a stir in the soul would, to a certain extent, understand the significance of this sacrificial offering. Perhaps it was this noble and spontaneous offer that made the Master’s task very easy in persuading the other boys.
Now, although Ali went to school, the extraordinary condition of his heart continued to be the same and a special watch was kept on him throughout the twenty-four hours. Of all his normal tendencies, eating was the one to which the boy became very averse. He did not avoid food, but he simply could not take it.
So much so, that on the 2nd of February, the Master had to feed him, with His own hands, with some rice and milk. However, on the following night, Ali began to sleep well, and the more he slept the more conscious he became. By the 4th of February, Ali was almost his old self again, the Sight having been cut off by the Master !
But the disappearance of the glimpse of the « Beyond » brought about a violent change in Ali. The uppermost thought in him now seemed to be to run away somewhere, perhaps in search of the « lost treasure », just as he had been running after the receding Sight recently.
Once, he actually managed to run away a mile to the surrounding fields and hills, but because of the special watch kept on him he was brought back. His uneasiness on this score grew so keen that the Master restored to him the Sight once again, on the 9th of February, simply by passing His fingers on the boy’s fore-head. However, the following week, Ali continued remaining very turbulent and truculent.
The Sight was perhaps being flickered by the Master before being completely withdrawn pending the Final Touch. But his Love for the Master seemed to be greatly intensified. Even while asleep, he was often heard repeating « Baba, » « Baba, » and once was actually found in a devotional pose lying straight on his back with both hands clasped in a characteristic salute. He looked as if paying homage to the « King of his heart, » although he was sleeping soundly at that time.
It will be remembered that Ali frequently used to amuse himself with the Master’s odd things including a pair of sandals, patched at a hundred and one places. However, to the horror of the on-lookers, the boy, in a fit of feelings, one day that week, suddenly grabbed at and snatched away a fairly big piece of the leather strap from the sandal and began to chew it down frantically. Before he could be stopped by anyone, the piece was actually gulped down by him !
Abdul Kareem Abdullah (Ramjoo). © 1964 Avatar Meher Baba Phoenix Centre
