Mansari's Promise

De Simple Silence.

I had come to bid farewell to Mansari. My visit to Meherabad was over and I was returning home. What I didn’t know was that I had really come to say goodbye to her, because I would not see her again. That in a couple of months, Mansari would die.

We were sitting together in the Breathing Silence — which was always my favorite time with Mansari.

When I had first arrived, Mansari had looked uncharacteristically upset and confused. I waited, then asked her what was troubling her? It was a few moments before she explained to me that she had a visit from some Pilgrims who had commented that she was a little weird for not having a TV. And I could see it had visibly hurt her.

« But what do I want with a TV, when I have Baba? » Mansari asked the Breathing Silence. « For me, there is nothing like sitting with Baba in the dark and quiet! »

I told her I didn’t have a TV either, so I must be as weird as her. And Mansari chuckled.

Then the Breathing Silence took us into itself. And time almost came to a standstill.

The dissolving stillness was momentarily disturbed by Mansari lurching forward in the giant deckchair, she used instead of an armchair, and reached for a large bag of prasad, which she handed to me with her most serious expression.

« Your name means Miracle. Now take this prasad and go and do some miracles! » Mansari told me without the flicker of a smile.

Taking the bulky bag from her, I nodded mechanically, knowing, yet not knowing what she meant.

Then we re-surrendered ourselves to the Breathing Silence. But only momentarily. Soon my thoughts began to hatch and wriggle around like tadpoles, because I knew that in the next few minutes I’d have to leave Mansari.

And, as usual, Mansari instantly picked up on what I was thinking.

« What time is your taxi arriving? » she asked.

« About now, Mansari. »

« Good. Then you must go. »

« Yes, but I don’t want to leave! »

« Baba is everywhere. Wherever you find yourself, He is there — because He is here in your heart. » Mansari said with deep sympathy and understanding, « If it is His wish, you will soon return. »

« Yes, I know, Mansari. But ‘out there’ is not the same as here! » And for the last time, I leaned back into the Breathing Silence. Yes, I had to go — it was Your will and wish. But was it Your will and wish that I would return?

I decided that there was no point in dragging out my departure. I got up and gave Mansari a prolonged, tender embrace. My hand was on the kitchen door and poised to push on it, when Mansari called me back.

« You know, Baba would often smile, when I questioned Him about His Universal Manifestation, and say to me :

Don’t worry, Mansari, when I manifest you will be present and you will see Me. And you will see Me as I am now! That’s a promise, Mansari! »

« Baba meant that He would manifest physically. But how can this be possible, when His Physical Form now lays in Samadhi? Also, I am already an old woman and I won’t live for much longer. So how can this be possible? Whenever I try to understand what He told me, it turns my brain to mush! But because He said it, I believe Him. Even if we cannot understand His words, whatever He said is Truth itself. So I wait! »

Then giving me a deep and piercing look, Mansari pointed a finger at me, saying, « When Baba Manifests — and He said He would — I will send you an invite. That’s a promise! » And she smiled perfectly, before abruptly turning her face away completely.

Mansari’s words had given me such happiness that I longed to go back and embrace her once again. But that’s when I received a shock — an actual one! I felt as if an energy line of extremely powerful voltage had suddenly manifested itself between myself and Mansari. And I not only felt it, I could smell it burning!

For a moment, I didn’t believe this could be happening. But when I tried to move a few inches towards Mansari I could feel the ferocity of its high electrical charge. It was crazy, but it was definitely there!

If felt it was saying to me : You mustn’t go back or everything will be undone!

Bewildered and a little frightened, I obeyed. And with a torn heart left, never to see Mansari again.

However, Baba, I know that in Your Dictionary there is no such word as ‘never’.

March 2002

Mirek Popowicz © 2002 Mirek Popowicz, South Molton, England