Gift Of God
De Simple Silence.
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English |
[modifier] Ashiana
There was no regular schedule for Baba’s visits. He might come for a day, a week or a fortnight ; one time He stayed for a whole month. Baba was always accompanied by some of the men mandali, and frequently He brought dear Mehera and the women. His plans might include simple gatherings with the mandali, family and close ones, private interviews, public darshans and singing at Ashiana, or larger darshans and more elaborate musical programmes at a public hall.
Usually Baba gave darshan to about twenty to thirty people at our apartment, but on two occasions He opened Ashiana to large crowds, once to around two thousand. Baba also came to Bombay to contact masts or simply to make train connections that were routed through the city to other parts of India ; at those times He would not see anyone except us. Twice Baba even came specifically to see the cricket test matches (world championship games), once between India and Australia and the other time between India and the West Indies. As man He enjoyed cricket, but as God He did His work through the concentration of large numbers of people on a single focal point.
People new to Baba were sometimes surprised by His sense of humour. Once the daughter of one of Baba’s mandali wanted to introduce her boyfriend to Baba. She had explained to him who Meher Baba was, perhaps leading him to expect a discourse on some spiritual topic. A friend of my brothers, good at singing funny songs, was also there. When the couple arrived, Baba immediately turned to my brothers’ friend and asked him to sing. I wondered what the newcomer thought ; he had probably come expecting Baba to enlighten everyone, only to find Him laughing over light-hearted, silly songs.
Baba enjoyed music. One night as He was retiring, around 9 :00 in the evening, he heard someone singing and gestured, « It’s a good voice. Is it the radio? »
I said, « No, Baba, it’s a street singer. » He told me to ask this singer to come the next day at noon, so I went down to the street and made the necessary arrangements. The singer, a Christian who sang in English, came the following day. He told Baba that he had just learned a new song entitled « He » and was planning to sing it for the first time at Christmas. Instead he sang it right then, for Baba. The next time Baba brought the women to Bombay, He called for the singer to come again so that they could hear him.
Because Baba loved the song « Begin the Beguine, » I kept the record always handy at Ashiana so that I could play it for Him whenever He asked for it. One time after listening to this song, Baba remarked, « ’Begin the Beguine’ reminds me of the Beginningless Beginning. » Later on He gave instructions to the mandali that when He dropped His body, « Begin the Beguine » should be played in His Samadhi after His body was placed in the crypt.
[modifier] Fun With Baba And Gustadji
Following Tehmton’s death in 1943, Baba had told my mother that He would again come to Bombay when Nariman and I were settled in our own home. His many visits to Ashiana, beginning in 1947, brought us great joy. Baba liked Ashiana.
The first time He came to our apartment, He went from room to room admiring the furniture and the curtains, and He made me open all the cupboards.
He especially admired the large wardrobe where Nariman hung his clothes. During His second visit He took Gustadji on a tour of the apartment, and I had fun following the two of them around as Baba showed him each room.
Of course, Baba pointed out Nariman’s wardrobe, with shirts hanging on one side and suits and ties on the other. Gustadji had never seen clothes hanging in such a manner before, as he had always kept his belongings in a trunk.
Because Gustadji had long kept silence by Baba’s order, they spoke in gestures as they looked at all Nariman’s clothes. Their faces, especially their eyes, were wonderfully expressive when they found something they particularly admired.
With their colourful, animated personalities they reminded me of two eager children, innocently pure, whose mutual enjoyment as they gestured back and forth to each other was a delight to behold.
[modifier] Delightfully Human
Each time Baba visited us at Ashiana, we felt blessed with the experience of witnessing both His Divine Presence and His living humanity.
One of His early visits, when He was accompanied by Adi, Sr., Gustadji and Dr. Nilu, is among my sweetest memories. Baba sent all three men to spend the night at the home of Meherjee, who was then living in Bombay, refusing to allow any of them to stay with Him in the apartment.
Everyone was surprised, as it was unusual for Baba to sleep without a night watchman. When He told Nariman and me to go to bed, Baba did not want Nariman to keep watch in His room. Instead, He sweetly asked if we would be comfortable in the second bedroom, even offering to sleep there Himself and give us back our bedroom, which we always reserved for Baba. We were touched by His loving concern, but assured Him that we would be just fine where we were.
I was awake the next morning at 5 :00 a.m. when Baba peeked into the room where Nariman and I had slept. Sitting up in bed, I asked Baba whether I should prepare tea for Him. He gave me a sweet smile and told me to go back to sleep.
Fifteen minutes later Baba peeked in again and gestured that He now wanted His tea. This brief personal moment was filled with Baba’s Divine Love, though His manner was delightfully human.
[modifier] Presents
After we had been in Meherabad for a few days, Baba called me to Mehera’s room, where they gave me presents for my engagement. All the gifts were in a blue embroidered cloth bag with a wooden handle. One by one Baba showed me the presents—including a lovely photo of Him in an 8 X10 silver frame, a small compact for powder and rouge with a watch on the outside, and a scarf—then put them back in the bag and gave it to me. Baba also gave me a pair of gold earrings and a blue sari with a green border that had belonged to Mehera. He told me that He had not previously given away any clothes which had been wom by Mehera and that I was very fortunate to receive this sari. I felt blessed by these expressions of Baba’s and Mehera’s love.
[modifier] Something Mystical Was Taking Place
During this time I had a dream from which I awoke overcome with emotion. In the dream I was standing in a doorway watching Baba and Mehera. She was coming down a staircase, walking toward Baba, who entered through another door. He extended His hands, saying, « Come, Mehera, and we will do the prayers. » Because Baba was no longer in the body, Mehera hesitated, as if wondering how she could touch Him. Baba extended His hands toward hers until their fingertips were touching, and her whole countenance suddenly changed. I could see Baba pouring a transparent liquid from His hands into Mehera’s. From the expression on her face it was clear that her whole being was undergoing a transformation, that something mystical was taking place.
[modifier] Failing Is Part Of The Process
Baba has said that nothing happens without His will, but that His wish gives us the privilege of choice : we can choose to obey Him. Baba’s orders come from His all-knowing compassion. Sometimes when we ask Him a question, the answer is an order that we might not like, but it is Baba’s wish that we obey. Baba has said, « Better that you don’t ask Me ; if you ask Me, then you must do as I say. If you don’t want to obey, then don’t ask Me. » This lesson has to be learned.
I was allowed to see the painful consequences that occur when people ask Baba for something and then expect His approval or when they simply act according to their own desires, forgetting to seek His pleasure. Baba gives us alternatives to our destiny that can cut short our suffering if we will only obey Him.
As He once told us, a huge field contains grass of different lengths and thicknesses—short, tall, thick, thin. But when a flaming match is thrown, it burns the whole field of dry grass within minutes. Baba said that His spiritual match, in the same way, can burn away the whole field of our sanskaras. But complete obedience and faith are necessary. These qualities take many lifetimes of dedication to develop, and only after we are prepared, by the grace of God Himself, do they manifest.
Paying attention to even the smallest of Baba’s orders prepares us for the greater ones, which can be agonizing. Failing is part of the process, but each experience, no matter how painful, brings us closer to Him.
[modifier] I Said Baba's Name Over And Over Again
I thought about Mehera a great deal while in Bombay and one night dreamed that she was with me at Ashiana. Goher and I were in the apartment, and Mehera was on the back verandah. It was late at night and, thinking Mehera must have lost track of the time, I went out to call her to go to bed.
We stood near the parapet, and I remember holding on to the hem of her blouse. There were no buildings around, only trees, and a very short distance away we could see Seclusion Hill at Meherazad. Touching the top of the hill was a very large star, ten times the size of all the others. I gazed in awe. Mehera said, « Look, Arnavaz, look at the left slope of the hill. » But my gaze remained fixed on the shining star. Mehera repeated, firmly this time, « Why don’t you look at the left slope? »
I immediately shifted my gaze and saw a figure with flowing hair, dressed in a white sadra. He was carrying an Aladdin shaped lantern, and the flame was perfectly round and very bright. As the figure moved toward the crest, I realized that it was Baba.
As he walked from the hill, through the air, toward Mehera and me, Mehera began repeating « Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai! » while I said Baba’s name over and over again. Baba continued coming closer until He was about twenty feet from us. I awoke happy and exuberant, as though the experience had really happened.
[modifier] I've Got To Get Well!
Another interesting story about my family and the way Baba developed our faith and love has to do with Dara, my second youngest brother, who was born in 1931. Dara developed double pneumonia when he was six months old. In those days there was no treatment for pneumonia except to apply a poultice of antiphlogiston (a paste that was supposed to draw all the congestion from the lungs) to the chest. There was little hope for such a tiny baby to recover.
Baba was in Bombay, this time staying in the family home of Kaka Baria, one of His mandali. Since Baba had not placed any restriction on our visiting Him, we could go at any time, and when we went for His darshan, my mother told Baba that Dara had double pneumonia. As we were taking our leave, Kaka Baria came to us and said, "Do you know what happened? Yesterday Baba, out of the blue, told me, 'Bring antiphlogiston. I want to apply it to my chest. I've got double pneumonia.'"
Kaka Baria knew that Baba did not have double pneumonia, but knowing the unusual ways in which Baba worked and having been trained to obey His every order without question, he brought the salve quickly. Baba, applying it to His chest, said again, "I've got double pneumonia. I've got fever and I've got to get well!" Dara's condition improved rapidly and he recovered. If Kaka Baria had not told us this story, we would not have known how directly Baba had intervened to save Dara's life.
[modifier] Uncle Chanji
"The service that the disciple can offer the Master is not only linked with the universal cause of humanity but is one of the most potent means of bringing the disciple nearer his spiritual goal." — Meher Baba
After my first visions of married life with Nariman, others followed. In one Baba told me, "You will have to undergo much suffering." I tried to imagine what could be worse than the struggle I had already been going through. When I asked Him in the vision if it were death, Baba replied, "Yes, you will have to face many deaths in your life." In August of 1944, a year after my brother Tehmton's death, just when we were beginning to become accustomed to his absence, the family suffered another irreparable loss. Uncle Chanji, whose loving nature made everyone cherish him, died suddenly while on a trip with Baba. We all felt cast adrift. Chanji was the captain of our ship, and he had lovingly steered us into Baba's harbour.
A man of medium stature, Chanji wore round spectacles typical of his times, and when he made jokes, he always twirled his moustache. Smiling, eyes twinkling, he would tell stories with a spontaneous wit that filled Baba and the rest of us with laughter. Chanji was quite absent-minded, often searching for his glasses when they were sitting on top of his head or leaving his briefcase behind and then rushing back to our house to retrieve it before catching a train. But if he was forgetful with his personal belongings, where Baba's work was concerned he was very particular about even the smallest details.
Chanji's temperament was unique. He was extroverted, good-hearted, kind and trusting. His deep understanding of human nature gave him the ability to bring solace to those in despair by sharing Baba's message of love. His own gratitude, conviction, and intense love for Baba inspired others without his ever forcing Baba upon them. We always looked forward to Chanji's visits because being with him was such a joy. He could make us laugh until we hurt. Best of all, though, he always brought Beloved Baba's atmosphere with him. I loved Uncle Chanji more than I loved my own father, and I found his death almost unbearable.
Although Chanji's dying came as a complete shock, we realized later that Baba had given several indications that he would not be with us much longer. In May of that year, while discussing plans for a darshan programme in Nagpur in September, Baba had named quite a number of men mandali who would go with Him. To everyone's surprise, He did not mention Uncle Chanji, who accompanied Him practically everywhere. When someone asked Baba why He had not included Chanji, Baba replied, "He will come if he's alive." Most of the mandali took Baba's remark to be humorous, but Dr. Nilu later told us that Baba's words had made him uncomfortable, and he wondered about their meaning.
A short time later Baba sent Changji to Bombay, saying, "When I send for you, bring all your belongings because you will not be going back to Bombay for a very, very long time!" Chanji was with us for a few days and we spent our time talking of Baba, as we always did, but on this visit he wasn't joking with us in his usual manner. The day he was preparing to leave Bombay, we were alone in the house. Uncle Chanji said, "Arnavaz, I am not coming back for a long time." Sometimes we wouldn't see him for long periods, months at a time, so I asked if he meant five or six months. Uncle Chanji said, "No, no, no! A very long time." I suggested, "Then maybe after a year or two?" He repeated, "No, a very long time!" There was a sadness in his voice that I didn't understand. I went to see him off at the station, but I didn't go to the platform, as he had Baba's orders not to reveal to anyone where he was going. After he embraced me, just before he left for the train, he removed a five rupee note from his pocket and gave it to me. Uncle Chanji never had any money of his own, and this was a very unusual gesture. I asked, "Why are you giving this to me? I should be giving it to you." He answered, "You keep it." I took the money because I could feel that he was giving it lovingly, with a purpose. That was the last time I saw him. Later I realized that he knew in his heart he would never see me or the rest of the family again, and perhaps he even had an intuition that he was going to die.
We later came to know that when Chanji left Bombay, he met Baba in Raipur, where he fell ill, and he never fully regained his strength. Then, in August, when Baba took the group to Shrinagar, Kashmir, Chanji contracted typhoid fever. His condition was so serious that he had to be moved to a hospital, where Baba visited him often during the next few days. Chanji died on 25th August, 1944. Baba sent a telegramme to one of His mandali in Ahmednagar, Adi K. Irani, Sr., telling him to inform us. However, he was not to mention where Chanji's death had taken place. When we heard the news, we didn't want to believe it. We wondered if perhaps Baba had sent Chanji somewhere and did not want him ever to return. Of course, all this was just hoping on our part. Chanji was only fifty-two years old, he was generally healthy, and we had known nothing about this illness. It was not until a week after his death that Baba wrote to Adi, allowing him to visit us personally and relate the whole story.
When Nariman heard that Uncle Chanji had died, he grew pale and his sorrow was obvious. These two men, both so important in my life, had a very close and deep connection, and Uncle Chanji had been delighted at the news that Nariman and I were to be married. Uncle Chanji loved all of us very much, but especially Nariman, whom he had adopted in his heart as his own son. He knew Nariman's true worth, and from the very beginning of their relationship he had talked to Nariman about Baba, gradually drawing him closer and closer, knowing that one day his nephew would be completely Baba's. And he was right. Nariman's love for and faith in Baba grew until it was total and spontaneous. His response to anything Baba asked of him was simply to say, "Yes, Baba," and carry out the order. Nariman always responded from his heart. He never let his mind get in the way of serving his Beloved Lord.
Uncle Chanji was so fond of Nariman that I used to tease him, saying that he would inherit all of Chanji's possessions. Of course Uncle Chanji had nothing to leave to anyone materially, not even his bedding and clothes — those did not belong to him, as they were given by Baba, along with enough money to cover the bare necessities of life. After settling in Bombay, Nariman, out of his deep love for both Baba and his uncle, had helped take care of Uncle Chanji's material needs. Although I had merely been joking about Nariman inheriting everything belonging to Uncle Chanji, in a sense he did. Baba's gesture for Chanji had been to indicate spectacles. When He began using that same gesture for Nariman, I witnessed Nariman's connection with Baba deepening.
Baba knows what is best for each one of us, and Chanji's dropping of the body was in accord with His perfect timing. Nevertheless, Chanji's death sent a wave of shock and grief over the entire Baba community, in both the East and West. For years he had been Baba's chief personal secretary and the primary correspondant with Baba lovers in both India and abroad, writing or visiting them whenever he could, no matter how busy he was. In this way he served as a link to Baba for many, many people. Through love, tenderness and concern, he won the hearts of all who came in contact with him. He was a true friend, and his death was a great loss for many.
When one of the mandali asked Baba why Chanji, who was so indispensible to Him, had to die, Baba replied, "I saved him twice. The first time he wanted to commit suicide on the beach in Bombay, and the second time he almost drowned in the Toka river." This second incident had occurred in 1928, when Baba moved His ashram temporarily to Toka. One day while Chanji was sitting on the bank of the river, he slipped and fell into the water. Not knowing how to swim, he sank, then struggled three times to the surface; the third time, feeling it was surely the end, he shouted at the top of his voice, "Baba! Baba!" Then he felt as though a hand came underneath him and lifted him above the surface of the water, but actually one of the other mandali pulled him out of the river. Uncle Chanji later told us that as he was falling into the river, he knew he was going to drown. In the water he had "experienced death," but Baba had saved him.
Everyone in our family was very impressed when Chanji narrated this incident, especially his mother, my grandmother, who used to worry about who would look after him in his old age. After his divorce she had wanted him to remarry. He would tell Grandmother to stop worrying about him, but she did not understand that he had dedicated his life to Baba. Finally she decided to have his horoscope read to learn whether or not his destiny included another marriage. She went with one of my aunts to an astrologer, who, after studying Chanji's chart for a few minutes, threw it down and said, "This is the horoscope of a dead man!" My grandmother was shocked. "Dead man? But this is my son and he is alive!" The astrologer said, "But there is no life! What can I read? He's dead. I am telling you, this is the horoscope of a dead man!" Completely perplexed, my grandmother was certain the astrologer was making a mistake. Then, when Uncle Chanji told us about nearly drowning, he impressed upon the family that were it not for Baba, he would have died. After that my grandmother was convinced that the horoscope had been read correctly; if Baba were not the great man that Chanji insisted He was, her beloved son would be a dead man indeed. From then on, not only did my grandmother stop pestering Chanji to remarry, but her faith in Baba grew stronger.
Chanji accompanied Baba on every trip He took to the west before his death. In obeying Baba's every order, he was subject to trying situations that Baba deemed necessary for his spiritual training. On one voyage Baba told Chanji to ask the Captain why the ship was moving so slowly. The Captain just gave him a funny look. The next day Baba sent Chanji back to ask what day the ship would arrive at its destination. A day or two later Baba sent him to ask what time of day the ship would arrive. Finally, He instructed Chanji to ask the Captain why he couldn't make the ship go faster. Chanji was sure that when he approached the Captain with that question, the Captain would hit him with whatever he could find available and throw him into the ocean, but the Captain just stared at him as though he were crazy. Another time Baba had Chanji repeatedly protest to the steward of a ship that the food had either too much or too little salt, until the exasperated steward threw all courtesy to the winds and unleashed such abuse on Chanji that it made him wish a wave would sweep him into the ocean.
Baba was relentless with His training of those closest to Him. On another occasion Baba and Chanji were in the cabin alone discussing a letter that Chanji was to draft. No matter what Baba said, Chanji argued, insisting that the letter should be written a different way. Chanji had Baba's foot in his lap and was tying His shoelaces. Baba finally became so angry with Chanji's stubbornness that He pushed Chanji with His foot, sending my uncle sprawling to the floor, and then gave him a slap for being so obstinate. Chanji broke down and cried. At that moment the door of the cabin opened, and in walked a Western woman disciple who was accompanying them on the trip. Baba beamed and, pointing toward Chanji, gestured, "He is crying because his love for Me has overwhelmed him."
Uncle Chanji did not spare himself in any way in his life with Baba. He made good use of every available moment. Despite the fact that he had little free time when they travelled, a portable typewriter always accompanied him. He pounded on the keys wherever he was — even on trains — and he often worked late into the night, attending to the voluminous correspondence he was expected to take care of. After he died we were surprised to find that Chanji had also faithfully kept beautiful, detailed diaries of Baba's activities and work. His epitaph, given by Baba, is as follows:
Framroze H. Dadachanji
Born on 23rd November, 1893. Died on 25th August, 1944.
An ardent and very close disciple of Shri Meher Baba of Ahmednagar. He spent twenty years of his life as a personal secretary in the devoted service of Baba. He strove to alleviate the suffering of all with whom he came in contact and especially exerted his utmost bringing the Parsi community to the pedestal of the true spiritual understanding through the contact and grace of Baba. For time to come, he leaves a vast record of events of Baba's life with their spiritual significance explained. With Baba he travelled the world over several times, drawing up itineraries and gathering the records of his Master's work with untiring energy. Whilst doing his duties as one of the most trusted and dear ones of Baba, he laid down his life with the name of Baba on his lips.
After Chanji's death Baba once remarked, "Chanji was not only My disciple; he was My friend." He always spoke of my uncle with great love. Meher Baba had beckoned to Uncle Chanji, saying, "Leave everything and come to Me," and in heartfelt response he spent the last twenty years of his life serving His God selflessly until the day he died. With his fearless devotion he endured, without question, everything that Baba orchestrated during his life; he considered it all Baba's grace. In the end Chanji was rewarded by what he had most desired: to become as humble as the dust under His Beloved's feet.
[modifier] Apparent Calamities And Transient Sufferings
"Whatever your apparent calamities and transient sufferings, they are but the outcome of my Love for the ultimate good." — Meher Baba
Nariman and I reserved tickets to go to Ahmednagar by the night train on 4th December, 1957. That afternoon our driver took me in the car to do some last-minute errands, all of them having to do with Baba's coming visit to Bombay. I was in the back seat with two photos of Baba in silver frames that I was taking to be polished, reading over my list of errands, when suddenly the car crashed into a pole, throwing me forward so that I hit my head against the front seat. The sound of breaking glass was so loud that I thought every window in the car must have shattered. Stunned and barely able to think straight, I sat quietly for a minute, taking Baba's name. With the impact of the crash the two pictures, which were in a leather bag on the seat, had fallen to the floor, and the glass in the frames had broken into a hundred pieces.
A crowd had gathered around the car. Someone helped me to get out and directed me to a shop nearby so I could call Nariman at his office to tell him what had happened. He came quickly with his brother Behram, who took me home. When I later inquired about the condition of the car, I was surprised to learn that not a single window had been broken. That seemed unbelievable, as the glass breaking in those two small frames could not possibly have made so much noise. It was as though Baba had directed the impact of the accident into those two picture frames.
The accident took place at about 4:00 in the afternoon. When Nariman and I boarded the night train at 9:00, I was still very shaken. Although I had escaped with only a small bruise on my forehead, I found it very difficult to sleep on the train. As soon as we arrived at Meherazad, we went into mandali hall, where Baba was waiting. After embracing Nariman and me, Baba asked, "Did you sleep well?" When I said I hadn't, Baba looked concerned and asked why. I had not planned to tell Him about the accident immediately, but having been asked, I narrated the previous day's events. Baba abruptly turned to Goher asking, "At what time did I have the prayers said yesterday?" She replied that they had been said at 2:00 in the afternoon. Baba then sent me to the women's quarters to have tea and relax, directing Goher to tell Mehera and Mani what had happened. I was warmly embraced by both of them, and they were quite startled and concerned to hear about the accident; even the word itself must have brought back their painful memories of Beloved Baba's accident just a year earlier.
An hour later while we were eating lunch, Baba turned to me and said, "You have no idea what you have been saved from!" After a pause He repeated to the others, "You all have no idea what Arnavaz has been saved from!" Then He told me, "I saved you once and I saved you a second time." After lunch Baba instructed me to rest. While I was lying down, Goher came to tell me what had happened at Meherazad the previous day. Baba had been very upset. While normally He would retire to His bedroom on the first floor of the big bungalow at 5:00 or 6:00, that day He retired at 2:00, telling Mehera to pray and giving His own words for the prayer. Everyone present could see that Baba was restless. They could sense that He was doing intense work and felt He was saving someone from disaster. Since Dr. Harry Kenmore had been flying to the United States from India at the time, they all thought that his plane was in danger. Goher said, "We didn't suspect it was you Baba was saving from a fatal accident."
[modifier] Alternatives To Our Destiny
This is not to say that if we obey Baba, all our suffering ends. Suffering is absolutely essential to the journey of the soul, as it alone can break us of our attachments, and it may even be intensified for a short while as Baba guides us on the most direct route. This family [described in previous paragraphs] didn't understand that if they had obeyed Baba, any suffering they endured would have been according to His wish; instead it was the result of carrying out their own willful desires.
Baba has said that nothing happens without His will, but that His wish gives us the privilege of choice: we can choose to obey Him. Baba's orders come from His all-knowing compassion. Sometimes when we ask Him a question, the answer is an order that we might not like, but it is Baba's wish that we obey. Baba has said, "Better that you don't ask Me; if you ask Me, then you must do as I say. If you don't want to obey, then don't ask Me." This lesson has to be learned.
I was allowed to see the painful consequences that occur when people ask Baba for something and then expect His approval or when they simply act according to their own desires, forgetting to seek His pleasure. Baba gives us alternatives to our destiny that can cut short our suffering if we will only obey Him.
As He once told us, a huge field contains grass of different lengths and thicknesses — short, tall, thick, thin. But when a flaming match is thrown, it burns the whole field of dry grass within minutes. Baba said that His spiritual match, in the same way, can burn away the whole field of our sanskaras. But complete obedience and faith are necessary. These qualities take many lifetimes of dedication to develop, and only after we are prepared, by the grace of God Himself, do they manifest.
[modifier] Lion Of The Trust
"... through the intelligent handling of marriage a person may traverse so much of the spiritual path that it needs only a touch by a Perfect Master to raise him into the sanctuary of Eternal Life." — Meher Baba
Back in January of 1961 I had received a confidential letter dictated by Baba with a warning never to mention the contents, particularly to Mehera, when I visited either Meherazad or Guru Prasad:
Meherazad, Ahmednagar 10 January 1961
Strictly confidential
My dear Arnavaz,
Yesterday... Baba informed me that He had already told the women now living at Meherazad that in case Mehera survived after He dropped His body — which may not at all happen — then Mani, Goher, Meheru, Naja and Rano should continue as far as possible to live together with Mehera, whether... in Meherazad or on Meherabad hill.... Baba... also wishes you to stay as far as possible with Mehera as long as she lives and wherever she prefers to live.... (Of course, in the remote eventuality of Mehera surviving Baba.)
...[H]owever, Baba gives you full permission to be with Nariman at Bombay or elsewhere as and when you or Nariman would want it to be so. But, Baba says, He would want you most of the time to stay with Mehera, and now and again pay visits to Nariman — and Nariman too can now and again pay visits to you to the place wherever you are with Mehera.... in which case Nariman will be staying with the mandali as usual, for some of the mandali have been instructed to be near at hand as now.
Baba wants you to show this letter to Nariman and to keep this strictly confidential. Baba also wishes you to show this letter to Katie, as she too has received instructions on the subject. You must not let anyone else know of this, and Baba wants you to remember NOT to mention anything of this to Mehera if you happen to visit Meherazad or Guruprasad in the near future.
Baba wants you to write an acknowledgement jointly with Nariman, and He does NOT want either of you to feel in the least worried over anything untoward happening, for nothing is going to happen that is beyond the knowledge of your Beloved Baba. Baba's health is steadily on the side of a very gradual improvement, and He wants me to send His LOVE to you both, who are dear and close to Him.
Yours lovingly,
Eruch
P.S. Baba expressly wants me to add: "Don't think about this unnecessarily. You may all die before Me." This, of course, is just what came out while we were talking, and Baba expressed His wish.
Nariman and I considered Baba, Mehera and the mandali to be our family; still we were honoured by Baba's request, and we had written back immediately telling Baba that of course we would do as He wished. At the time I had momentarily wondered what Nariman would do if I went to live at Meherazad. Then, five months after Baba dropped His Body, Nariman completed the sale of his factory and joined me in Meherazad, and I realized that Beloved Baba had laid the groundwork for both of us to live there. Although we kept Ashiana and periodically spent time in Bombay, we lived in Meherazad most of the time from then on. Along with Goher I assumed responsibility for the running of Meherazad since there were no Baba lovers to help us and very few servants at that time.
Nariman was greatly affected by the loss of Baba's physical presence. He had never been the type to talk about his feelings, and now he became even quieter and more withdrawn, unable to express his grief. I did not know how to bring him out of this shell. As it turned out, Beloved Baba pulled him out of the disinterested state he was in and put him to work. Nariman had been made a trustee of the Avatar Meher Baba Trust when it was formed by Baba in 1959, but the Trust had no function until after He dropped His body. It was soon apparent that the first chairman wanted to take full control of the Trust, totally ignoring the suggestions of the other trustees, all of whom were upset by his irregular practices. Nariman came out of his depression to do Baba's work, becoming like a lion for the Trust, particularly after the chairman filed a lawsuit against the rest of the trustees when they voted to remove him from office and make Mani the chairman. Most of the other trustees, having spent their lives in the ashram with Baba, had little experience with business and legal problems. However, Nariman knew the ways of the world, so they all depended greatly on him for his wisdom and advice. Mani used to call him "Skipper" because of the capable way he took charge and organized the other trustees, steering them through rough waters. When the original chairman suddenly died in March 1973 and the case was dropped, Nariman again became very detached from everyone and everything.
Arnavaz N. Dadachanji. Published by Naosherwan Anzar Beloved Books. © 1996 Meherazad Trust for Avatar Meher Baba
