As Only God Can Love
De Simple Silence.
| Languages/langues: |
English |
| As Only God Can Love | |
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| Author | Darwin C. Shaw |
| Country | USA |
| Language | English |
[modifier] First Visit To The Center
In June 1944, some time after Elizabeth was given title to the property, a group of us made a special trip to Myrtle Beach to look over the new Center. Included in this early group were Elizabeth, Norina, John Bass, myself, Filis and Adele (as I recall), and Frank Eaton (who later gave up his job in Schenectady and moved down to become a caretaker at the Center, a post he held, serving Baba, for many years).
Although we came at separate times, we all traveled on the East Coast Champion train, leaving from Penn Station in New York City and arriving in Florence, South Carolina. A bus would then convey us to Myrtle Beach. We met at Youpon Dunes and « Whileaway, » the house next door to the south, which Elizabeth and her husband, Kenneth, owned. We were all thrilled with the prospect of seeing the Center and helping in any way we could in its development for Baba.
Piling into two cars, with Elizabeth driving one of them, we made our way to the Center from the south via « Old King’s Highway, » a narrow north-south dirt road paralleling two-lane Highway 17. Long since having ceased to function as a public road, Old King’s Highway was used only by hunters and fishermen, and it was the only road leading into and through the Center. The stretch of Old King’s Highway that goes through the Center is now known as The Beach Road.
The Center is located about nine miles north of Myrtle Beach. At that time, most of the strand (the spit of land along the Atlantic Ocean) was undeveloped woodland dotted here and there by wooden Carolina farmers’ houses. The traffic was very light on Highway 17, which cut through the dense woodland. Except in the town of Myrtle Beach itself, the beaches were virtually deserted.
As we drove onto the Center property, I was struck by the delightful quiet beauty of the wild woodlands ; it gave one a sense of primordial freedom. The car in which I was riding got stuck in the sandy road, so we left it and walked easterly to the area bordering the lake that later became the main compound on the Center. From this central point we began to explore, mostly along the lake, to get an overall idea of what the area looked like.
This was a time of spiritual as well as physical adventure and delightful discovery. It has to be understood that we were fired with enthusiasm because Meher Baba was going to manifest, and we believed that when he did, everyone in the world would come to him. We were part of his « team, » helping to prepare for his glorious manifestation, which we thought was imminent. As we walked over the grounds of Baba’s chosen « Home in the West, » we felt that Baba was with us.
As a way of proclaiming the Center as Meher Baba’s own, we spelled out « Baba » on the ground near the beach with shells we had collected. Then we scattered far and wide shouting, « Baba! » « Baba! » « Baba! » I think it was Norina’s idea. At that time there was no bridge across the lagoon, and as I called out Baba’s name, I walked north, around the ravine, over onto the other side of the lagoon.
This, I knew, was the place where Meher Baba had in mind for his Center all along, and I felt very privileged to be a part of its development.
[modifier] S-O-F-T
During the morning, [Friday, July 18, 1952, New York], Baba called Leatrice and Renae in to ask them to prepare a fruit salad for him. Leatrice describes this incident :
Baba called my sister, Renae, and me into his room and asked us to make a fruit salad for him. We thought that it was wonderful to be given an opportunity to serve him. Baba had Renae and me come forward so that we were standing near his right shoulder.
Holding up his alphabet board with a look on his face that signified, « Are you ready for this? » Baba pointed out some letters on the board in his nimble way. Then he looked at us to see if we got his spelling. I looked down, thinking, « Oh my gosh, I didn’t know what he said, » for all I had grasped was that there were four letters. [Renae said later that she could only get the letters S and T.]
Baba looked up with expectation in his eyes. All I could do was to shrug my shoulders in dismay. With a look of patient understanding, Baba slowly spelled out the word again, but this time I understood only the first two letters. Once more I couldn’t give the answer to Baba when he looked up at me so sweetly. I was inclined to feel embarrassed on such occasions ; however, Baba seemed not to mind and didn’t make me feel bad. With him it was « Let’s keep on ; let’s do it again, » as he pointed out the letters. This time I said, « S-O-F-T. » When Baba squeezed his fingers together, we both called out in unison, « Soft! » Baba smiled and indicated that he wanted the salad soft.
So Renae and I went into the kitchen where the piles of fruit were — oranges, tangerines, peaches, grapes — all kinds. Washing our hands, we started to peel the fruit. Renae kept saying to me, « Mash it ; make it soft. » We were so happy to be doing something for Baba that our tears salted the salad and we were unmindful of the very hot day. Later, Renae told me she heard that the salad was all Baba ate and he liked it. We didn’t know at that time that Baba had also lost some teeth in his accident.
[modifier] In Trouble With Baba
When I got out there the first morning, on Monday, July 21, Meher Baba was already on the backyard patio, which was shaded by the house. He was seated in his wheelchair at a large, round table, on which was the text of the message he had given out the previous day to the New York City and Schenectady Baba groups.
We were immediately joined by John Bass and Keith MacGaffey. Baba wanted to go over the message to make some improvements in the wording before circularizing it. The atmosphere was very relaxed, and Baba wanted us to freely make suggestions that might be helpful.
In the midst of this work, Rano and Adi came out of the house. Rano reported to Baba on some task he had given her to do, and evidently her report displeased Baba very much. The atmosphere changed, and Rano, who stood to my right, seemed very tense, replying to Baba’s questioning in clipped tones, « Yes, Baba. No, Baba. »
The situation was very awkward. But after a few minutes, thinking to ease the tension, I bent over the table and, pointing to the paper we were working on, said, « This word, Baba... » But that was as far as I got, because Baba looked up at me and said (Adi interpreting), « My dear Darwin! »
Baba’s stern look made me realize that I had made a faux pas. I straightened up, looked sideways at Rano, and muttered to her out of the side of my mouth, « Now we’re in the same boat. »
Then Baba quickly said, « Not quite. »
Although there were strong feelings in Baba’s rebuke, I was not hurt. Instead, I found myself pushed upward into a state of detached perception. Shortly after this, Baba said something more to Rano and she left. Baba’s mood seemed to change rapidly, and we were soon back to work on the paper on the table.
[modifier] Trip To The Bronx Zoo
At the conclusion of the visit to the Winterfeldts’ apartment, we helped Baba out to the car Charmian was driving, and drove out to the Bronx Zoo. Baba had invited Filis and Adele to come with us, and they rode in my car.
After parking the two cars and helping Baba get into the wheelchair, Charmian was supposed to push the wheelchair as Baba and the women went on a tour through the zoo. But a curious incident brought about a change. Keith and I were originally supposed to remain with the cars, but at the last minute Charmian realized that her shoelaces were loose and decided they should be tightened. In her haste she broke first one shoelace and then the other. Baba, observing the situation, quickly motioned for Keith and me to come along to push the wheelchair, while Charmian was left to repair her shoelaces. Ensuing events revealed that Baba had a good reason for leaving Charmian behind.
Since it was in July, the weather was pleasantly warm and we were relaxed with Baba as we enjoyed moving along in the park-like surroundings and looking over the many animals in the zoo. When we wheeled Baba into the room where the penguins were kept, Baba had us stop in front of the big closed-in case where the arctic birds were provided with an environment simulating their native habitat. There was ice and flowing water where the birds could dive in and swim. Some of them were just standing on a ledge, but one large one was strutting along as through he were quite important. Baba smiled and looking up at me, pointed at this big penguin. I smiled too and said, « He’s the chairman of the board. » Baba smiled in agreement.
Baba then had me wheel him as close as possible to a wall over which we could look down on the gorillas, who were in a big open area with a moat. There seemed to be one gorilla in particular that attracted Baba’s attention, and Baba watched him for a couple of minutes before gesturing for us to move on.
Whenever Baba’s men were around the women of our group, they were supposed to avoid looking at Mehera, Mani, and Meheru. This order from Baba of course included Keith and myself. An outing like this made compliance extremely difficult, because we were moving about more or less as a group. Sometimes, for example, the women would walk on ahead only to find that there was a closed area in front of them. Almost before we knew it, they would turn around, and we would almost have in unintentional confrontation. I think Keith and I managed to keep our eyes lowered, though, so that we saw only the hem of their saris and their feet.
When it came time for us to go back to the cars, we discovered that we had not noted which parking area the cars were in. Baba seemed undisturbed and pointed toward one of the paths. After going along this path for a short distance, it did not look as though we were going in the right direction. Baba, still undisturbed, stroked his chin and point to another path. We tried that path for a while, but then it started to sprinkle, so we quickly went to a nearby comfort station with a wide overhanging roof, where we decided to wait. It was not long before Charmian came along, and Baba’s little game of letting us think we were lost was over, but it was fun while it lasted. Charmian, of course, knew the way back to the cars.
In thinking over the way our visit to the zoo unfolded, I came to the conclusion that Baba purposely left Charmian behind with the cars, knowing that she would come to our rescue at the right time. Baba mentioned the parking lot incident at the Bronx Zoo to me in India in 1954, and we had a chuckle over it.
[modifier] Washing Baba's Hair
One day, when Sarosh, Meherjee, John Bass, and I were with Baba in the house in Scarsdale, Baba had all four of us participate in washing his hair. We were in a sort of hallway, in which there was a table with a large wash basin and pitcher of water.
My part in the procedure was to take the basin after Baba’s washed hair was rinsed, go outside through a nearby door, and throw the water out in the yard. Baba himself told me to do this. When I got outside with the basin, I noticed that there were a few of Baba’s hairs floating in the water, and this put me in a dilemma.
My first thought was to pick out the hairs, but then I recalled that Baba said, « Throw this out. » Now it became a matter of total obedience. Perhaps this was a test, I thought. I had no time to deliberate, so I just threw it all out.
Although one person could have easily washed Baba’s hair, I felt that this was one of Baba’s ways of giving us an opportunity, especially John and myself, to share in a personal and intimate activity with him. In his own loving way, Baba drew us closer to him and made us feel that we were a part of his family.
[modifier] Jeanne R. Foster
While Dr. Goher and Keith wheeled Baba into the building and took the elevator up to Consuelo’s seventeenth-floor apartment, I parked the car and hurried to join them there. Several people had already arrived for their appointments to see Baba. Among them was our dear friend from Schenectady, Jeanne R. Foster. At that time she was about seventy years old.
Jeanne Foster was a most unusual person, a published poet and literary person who throughout her life had been a serious spiritual seeker. She had met Swami Vivekananda when he was in America, and when I asked Baba if she could come to see him at Consuelo’s apartment, I told him about her having met Vivekananda. Baba seemed interested to hear about her and said that yes, she could come to see him. Her account of meeting Meher Baba, as well as some significant dreams she had, follows.
The Spiritual Experience of Meeting Baba July 28, 1952 by Jeanne Robert Foster
I was overjoyed to have the opportunity of seeing Baba and hurried in the morning to board an early train for New York. I was in a state of excitement during the trip and remained in the New York Central Station for a time to recover my poise. Then I went up to Mrs. Sides’ penthouse, 17th floor, 210 East 68th Street, and was shown into a living room where several persons were waiting, including a very beautiful East Indian woman. I was told she was the wife of a Harvard student. She wore a gorgeous sari and was lovely beyond words. I also met our hostess, Mrs. Sides, Mrs. Ivy Duce, leader of the American Sufis and others. I sat on a sofa with a young woman from Pittsburgh, Miss Swear, who confessed she was skeptical.
The door to an inner room was closed and I understood Baba was receiving there. After some of the guests had been received, Darwin came for me and I went in with my heart beating furiously, my mind empty, my inner self yielding to a vibration — a kind of intoxicating rhythm — that I had felt on entering the room.
Nothing that I had imagined, nothing for which I had prepared myself, prefigured Baba. He sat to the left on a kind of divan. He was naked to the waist, His long dark hair fell on His shoulders, His leg — injured in the motor accident — was in a cast. There seemed to be a coolness and a spicy fragrance in the room, although it was a very hot day. His alphabet board was beside Him and His Indian interpreter stood at His left. Before I describe the interview, I must describe my impressions or visions as I saw Him. He was not static in the flesh : At first He seemed to be Siva as the god is pictured, then instantaneously He changed to another figure and His couch was the thousand-petalled lotus. These vanished and Baba was sitting there, but His face never assumed a permanent form while I remained in the room. It was infinitely finer, more beautiful, more spiritual than any photograph. The camera cannot record Him ; I had great difficulty to keep from falling down on my knees, but I remembered that Baba has forbidden homage. I was motioned to a chair at His right. He extended His hand and took my hand, which I did not expect. Through His interpreter, He said using His board — « You knew Vivekananda? »
« Yes, » I replied.
« He is very dear to me, » Baba said.
He did not use the past tense (Vivekananda has been dead many years), and I received the impression that He was constantly in touch with Vivekananda — indeed that Vivekananda might be there with Him unseen to all but Baba.
Using His board, the interpreter translating, He said that the only thing for His disciples to do was to become one with universal love, that He — Baba — had come to unite all creeds, all sects into one great body that — following and flowing into universal love — would cure the world of its unrest and strife.
When I rose to go, Baba gave me His hand again. I pressed it to my face, receiving the most powerful « charge » of indefinable spiritual power. During the brief interview, I was conscious that I was beholding a great Incarnation that I was especially privileged to have seen and touched.
I had not asked Baba for anything, not even for guidance vocally, but in my mind I asked to be guided. Even that I considered wrong, for who am I to ask individual guidance of an Incarnation?
Jeanne Foster’s Dreams
The night of my return home I had a dream. (I am not a dreamer of the usual kind. For years I have « dreamed true » — have been guided by dreams.) I dreamed that I was in a spacious East Indian house where a great many people were moving about. All were beautifully dressed. I realized that I wore a costume strange to me, a kind of sari. I asked about the occasion and was told it was a wedding day. I waited to see more in my dream.
Suddenly Baba entered the room. He was young, turbaned, and wore a green Persian costume embroidered in gold. His turban was paler, with a heavy jewel in the front. He moved about the large room I was in. I asked about the occasion again. The reply — from one of the attendants — was that it was a marriage feast — Baba was the Bridegroom. He came over to me and took my hand — as he had done with others who were there. I was overcome with such Spiritual Joy, with a sensation of dissolving in love, of actual death, that I awakened I and found myself very weak from emotion.
The following night I dreamed that I came home and found the entire bookshelf in my hall torn out — books and oak cases leaving ugly scars. I awakened in fright. In a few moments I realized the significance. It was a message to « do, » not to « read. » I must be about Baba’s business lest I fail. Doing, not dreaming, must be my role.
Following the interview with Baba and the dreams, I was so exhausted, until Thursday, August 7th, that I could only go to work by sheer will power. Then vitality came surging back. I still experience a strange sense of loss of gravity that came over me when I saw Baba. All that has happened confirms my belief that we know very little about the planes of the spiritual universe, and to experience a little while on this plane of gross phenomena is a great privilege. My gratitude to Darwin and Jeanne Shaw for all that has happened. It came to me from one of Darwin’s friends. He found a name in a book I had loaned and set up the chain that brought me to Baba.
[modifier] Inner Work And Leatrice's Eyes
That night a terrible electrical thunderstorm with torrential rains hit us. The following morning, Thursday, July 26, [1956] was sunny and clear, and raindrops lingered on the leaves. Baba crossed the lagoon bridge and was joyfully greeted by the crowd of his lovers and devotees. Standing near the boathouse, he soon became withdrawn and seemed to be working inwardly. The fingers of his hands were moving rapidly, and he gazed out toward the lake.
For a while he sat on the big bench nearby and seemed oblivious of the people who respectfully remained at a distance from him. After ten or fifteen minutes, Baba refocused on his surroundings and the people there. He inquired of the Rudds, who had slept in the boathouse, how they had fared through the thunderstorm. They said that they were fine.
Baba walked up the brick stairs with everyone following him. He walked past the kitchen and sat on the low railing for a while, still in a partially withdrawn mood. Then he stood up and faced west. He appeared to be working again, his fingers moving rapidly. Dr. Nilu stood near Baba and held Baba’s pink coat. Baba slowly moved about, facing by turns the four main points of the compass.
We felt that Baba was engaged in some very significant working, perhaps in connection with the future of the Center. Some believed it was connected with Abdel Nasser’s seizing of the Suez Canal on this day and perhaps with the sinking of the ocean liner Andrea Doria, which also occurred on this day. However it may be, there never was any explanation of those periods of Baba’s inner working.
After a while, Baba seemed to be completely finished with that period of his working, and he started walking along the path toward the Barn with all of us following. A few hundred feet along the path Baba stopped, and when we all gathered around him, he asked us all to concentrate for one minute, looking into his eyes. This was a rare and wonderful blessing. In fact, it was something that many of us longed to do — to be allowed to just gaze at his Beauty, to lose ourselves in the Ocean of Divine Love that shone through Baba’s eyes.
Following this precious moment, Baba noticed some newcomers arriving by car, and he returned to the place where they were to talk with him. Then we went to the Lagoon Cabin. As it was then about nine o’clock, our family also went into the Lagoon Cabin to keep our appointment with Baba. We sat closely around him.
At this interview, Baba seemed to be in more of a businesslike mood than he had been in previous ones with our family. Turning to Leatrice, he motioned with his hand and said — with Eruch interpreting his gestures — « Tell me about your eyes. » Leatrice shares her account :
Throughout my childhood my mother took me to eye doctors for glasses for my condition of alternating crossed eyes. Naturally I always wished to be able to overcome this difficulty. In my heart I knew that Baba would help me somehow.
In my last year of high school, Baba sent a message to my brother and me, asking us to write to him as to what we were studying. Among other subjects in my reply, I said that I was learning to do the Bates method of eye training exercises which Norina had suggested. Baba sent his reply to me, saying to study certain subjects very well and to continue with the eye exercises.
Later on, because of further eye difficulties, I took a leave of absence from my full-time job to continue eye training in binocular vision. I returned to work in spite of having the same difficulties. After some time just before Baba came to America in 1956, I was called into the head doctor’s office of the company where I worked. He told me that an anonymous person had offered to pay for me to have eye surgery. Knowing that I would soon see Baba and could consult with him about it, I said that I would give my answer after returning from vacation.
Our family, along with the Schenectady group, was called to Baba’s room in the Delmonico Hotel in New York City in 1956. After the group departed, Baba kept our family in the room with him longer. At one point in our conversation, Baba turned to me and said, « In Myrtle Beach I’ll tell you what to do about your eyes. » I felt Baba’s Compassion in revealing that he knew right along how I was feeling and relying on him. This was a part of building my inner faith and trust in him through the years.
So, in Myrtle Beach, before showing everyone through his house at the Center, Baba stopped our family on the porch and gestured to us (in particular to me) that tomorrow at 9 :00 a.m. we were to meet him in the Lagoon Cabin. Our family gathered so happily in the Lagoon Cabin the next morning to be with Baba. Baba said to me, « Tell me about what happened. » I sensed that he knew all about the offer for surgery, and I proceeded to tell him what had happened. Baba consulted with Dr. Nilu, who said the surgery was advisable. Baba then turned to me, saying, « Go ahead with the operation. Have it done in October and say my name for five minutes beforehand. »
Our family was part of Baba’s 1956 tour, which included a stay in San Francisco. While there one day, we were called into Baba’s room to have tea with him. After tea, Baba turned his attention to me with a motion for me to be alert to catch a small crystal type of paperweight. Baba was sitting in a chair near the end of the couch where I was, so the catch was easy. Baba said to keep it with me, and I got the feeling he meant especially to keep it with me for the surgery. Baba said not to worry.
In October I cabled to Baba the date of the surgery, and Baba cabled back, sending his love and [telling me] to be brave in his love. After the operation, there was a five-week recovery period with complete covering of my eyes for two weeks and partial covering for the remainder. During that time I had the real surgery within. Instead of seeing the world, I was blind to it. I saw only Baba. My days were spent in remembrance of Baba with the vivid images in my heart and mind, still so fresh with having been with Baba. I never got restless. Inwardly I was experiencing a kind of inner death and knowing a deep renunciation, as well as strengthening my inner companionship with him. Baba took me to a place of no return in my jourey with him. By his Grace and Compassion, he brought about a transformation in me.
My mother was the first to notice that I had changed not only in appearance. I discovered to my delight that I had binocular vision — due to the earlier eye training. I cabled to Baba the good success. When Baba came back to the Center in 1958, I first saw him in the Lagoon Cabin. He leaned over to me to take a close look at my eyes as a doctor would in examining his work. Baba smiled lovingly and said, « Beautiful! »
[modifier] "Begin The Beguine"
Baba then [Sunday, May 25, 1958] called for music, and as « Begin the Beguine » was played, Baba beat the rhythm on the arm of his chair with his fingers. When it came to the part that goes, « Darling, I love you, » I was deeply touched, because I had the impression that Baba looked directly at me. I later found out that Leatrice had the same experience! This made us wonder how many others had the same experience. Afterward, Baba said, « I always hear this record at Nariman’s place when I go to Bombay. »
We then played some Indian records. Baba revealed that he did not especially like classical music, whether Indian or English. He most appreciated music that expressed heartfelt longing and praise for God.
Jeanne noted in her diary some of Baba’s comments about the Indian records. « God-man is the Ocean of Unity. The saints are the pearls in the Ocean. The singer says, ‘Ask anything from Qutub [Perfect One], and he is wise who asks him for God, because he is the only one who can give union with God.’ »
[modifier] Gifts From Mehera
In the early afternoon, [Sunday, May 25, 1958], Baba had a group of about 20 women come to his house. They were women who had met Mehera when she was in America in 1952, or who had corresponded with her. Before Baba had left India for this visit to the Center, Mehera had given him little gifts for each of these women. Baba received the group of women while sitting in an armchair in front of the fireplace in the living room. The women sat on the carpet in front of him and enjoyed a few moments of companionship with him.
Baba confessed that although Mehera had told Baba for whom each gift was intended and that he had nodded to her at the time, he now could not remember! He said he could solve the universal problems but not this one.
Baba told the women that Mehera, his beloved, came first in his love. Earlier, in the Barn, Baba had asked Harry Kenmore, who was blind and the only male who had been permitted to « see » Mehera, what he felt about her. Harry had replied, « Mehera radiates love and purity. I felt she was the exact feminine counterpart of Baba. » When Harry said this, Baba turned and gave him a kiss, as though confirming its veracity. Baba told the women that his sister, Mani, came next. She was his true sister in work, he said.
Baba then handed each one her first gift from Mehera : a photograph vignette of Baba as a young boy and Mehera as a young girl. Mehera had commissioned Baba’s brother Behram to create it.
Then Baba went to his bedroom, where an assortment of gifts was spread on the bed. Baba had the women come into the bedroom, a few at a time, and gave each one a gift. Baba gave Jeanne a handbag from Mehera, and Leatrice and Renae were given similar gifts. Although the gifts were small, they were so charged with Baba’s love that they still retain that vibration of Divine Love-Bliss. When Baba returned to the living room, he gave each one a lock of his hair as a special prasad.
After the first group of women left, the rest of the women arrived in dripping wet raingear. They too received gifts from Baba. Two days previously, Baba had referred to this meeting as « Mehera’s work, » so no doubt the gifts had added, unfathomable significance.
[modifier] Saints And Songs
Baba called for an intermission [Monday, May 26, 1958], but many of us remained with him, especially the children. When everyone reconvened, Baba introduced some music by telling the story of Mira and her devotion to Krishna.
« I am Krishna, Baba declared. « I want all of you to love me as Mira loved me. » He then commented, « Mehera’s love is different and cannot be compared to that of Mira. »
Baba also said of Saint Teresa of Avila, « She loved me ; she devoted her life completely to me. »
Spirituals sung by Marion Anderson were played, and Baba gestured the circle of perfection. When the song « He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands » was played, Baba gestured, « I’ve got the whole universe in my palm. » Baba became very serious when the song « Let My People Go » was played. Twice he touched his right foot and then his forehead, apparently performing some inner work.
[modifier] "Thou Art The Eternal Ocean Of Infinite Being"
As Baba was about to leave [May 27, 1958] and had already started to rise from his chair, the small musical ensemble began to softly play « Begin the Beguine. » Henry Kashouty’s trombone solo part struck a mood of great depth and devotion. Baba hesitated and then settled back into his chair, going deeper into the mood. He seemed to be intensely with us, and yet withdrawn to a deeper level than usual. He looked around at the faces of his lovers, who stood silently around him, some perhaps inwardly repeating the pledge of love so beautifully expressed in the words of the song, « There we are, swearing to love forever, and promising never, never to part... »
Baba slowly shifted from the chair in which he had been sitting to the carrying chair. He was about to give the signal for the boys to pick up the chair and depart, but held back and seemed further engrossed in his inner working. The mood deepened, and everyone stood silently by, feeling great love and reverence for the Beloved. Finally Baba gave the signal and was carried out to the car. But even after arriving at the car, he remained seated in the carrying chair, working.
After a while, he stood up beside the car. A large turtle that was crawling nearby was brought over for Baba to see. As he was getting into the car, the Beloved’s hand rested on the top of the door for a few seconds, and several people, including me, stooped reverently to kiss that sacred hand, the hand of Christ.
When the car reached the area of the Lagoon Cabin, Baba got out, but instead of going into the cabin, he went to a chair outdoors, near the cabin, and sat down. He was soon completely absorbed in inner working, his fingers moving rapidly. The mood was profound. The group approached quietly, one by one, and silently watched from a distance. Baba stayed there, working for quite a while. Adi and Eruch were standing near him, with Eruch holding an umbrella over the Beloved’s head, protecting it from the sun.
The silence even affected the ordinary, natural surroundings. It seemed as though the birds, the crickets, the frogs and all of the usual natural sounds had become silent. Everyone standing around was wonderstruck, seeing Baba thus. The atmosphere became surcharged with tremendous and indefinable power and significance. One woman broke from the waiting group and, sobbing, tried to get to Baba, but she was restrained.
Meantime, Leatrice, who was standing among others a short distance from Baba, could not see his face, because there were people in front of her. From her heart, she longed to see his face when, to her surprise and great joy, Baba leaned back in his chair and looked directly at her. She later said that when she looked into Baba’s eyes she was astounded as she realized she was looking into the eyes of God! She said, « I knew he was God when he gave me that indescribable look. I was dazed with shock, knowing that whatever God is, this Being, Baba, is God. »
Finally, Baba rose from the chair and, leaning on Eruch’s arm, slowly made his way to the car. I opened the car door and was awestruck by the look in Baba’s eyes. Baba truly seemed to be the Omnipotent One, the Eternal Being, and, as I looked into those two pools of fathomless infinity, I silently exclaimed, « Thou art the Eternal Ocean of Infinite Being! »
[modifier] The Way And The Goal
During his lifetime, Meher Baba revealed many important things about the inner spiritual path that had not been clearly defined before. He explained that the simplest and most direct way to God-consciousness is through love : love of God and love of our fellow humankind, as well as all creation — but more importantly, love for him.
Baba explained that he is « the Way and the Goal. » When we love him and inwardly draw close to him, we are already participating in the experience of the Goal. His beautiful physical body corresponds to the Reality and thus becomes for us the inner gateway to the Infinite.
Baba said, « If you love me with all your heart at your level, I will take you to my level. » This means that he will reveal himself to the ones who love him in this way. Thus we are effortlessly brought into the realm of the infinite and Divine Love that Meher Baba really is.
As we become more inwardly intimate with him as our constant companion, we undergo an inner transformation. He works with us to help us turn away from binding impressions and entanglements that repeatedly impel us to reincarnate. We are less and less interested in allowing random trains of thought to occupy our attention. He awakens us to our true spiritual potential ; he helps us willingly die to our limited egoic selves and be born of the Spirit. We are entering into the realm of his Divine Love-Being and finding more and more joy and fulfillment in visualizing the Beloved and allowing the glow of love for him to flow through the cup of our hearts. As Jesus said, « The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. »
[modifier] Love's Call
Seeing him, Norina said, "Wait here; maybe Baba will see you for a moment." Then she walked quickly over to meet Baba, spoke to him, and pointed over at us. Baba nodded yes, and they came directly over to us. Norina introduced us, and we shook hands with Baba. As he and I shook hands, we looked into each other's eyes.
For me, it was an indescribably glorious moment. This was our first glimpse into the infinite pools of Divine Love that were Meher Baba's eyes. His handshake might have reached down through some two thousand years to clasp mine at that moment. I saw him as the Christ, and no words can adequately describe what poured forth from my heart as I recognized the Beloved — the living Christ. I felt instant rapport with him and experienced a great spiritual upliftment. It was like the fulfillment of an "impossible dream."
I was overjoyed. Baba's Beauty, the sweetness of his love, which could not be expressed in words — the joy, the sparkling wonder of his Being! One could not prefigure him. One could not imagine how it would be, what he would be like. He was more than one could imagine — much more, immeasurably more. Although this meeting with Meher Baba was very brief, it seemed for an instant as though time stood still, and I caught a feeling of timelessness in the presence of the Timeless One.
Jeanne, on the other hand, was somewhat distracted by seeing Baba in those Western winter clothes and did not have the same wonderful reaction I had when meeting him. As we parted, with Baba and Norina walking toward the elevator, and Jeanne and I walking toward some chairs in the hotel lobby, Jeanne was irresistibly impelled to turn, in order to get another glimpse of him. To her surprise, just as she turned, Baba, whose back was to us, also turned and, looking directly at her, folded his hands and bowed slightly to her. Jeanne turned quickly away, feeling that she had been caught trying to sneak a look at him, but then she could not resist turning twice more to look at him. Each time, Baba also turned as she was turning, folded his hands and bowed to her. As a result of these rather furtive intimate exchanges, with Baba responding to her as he did, Jeanne realized that Baba was, indeed, an exceptional being.
We both had much to think about as we sat down. We were soon joined by a little elderly lady, Bessie Allen, whose appointment with Baba for that day had also been canceled. She had baked a cake for him, and she felt confident that we would all get to see him that afternoon. We, on the other hand, were content to have seen Baba as we had, and we did not dare to hope to see him again that afternoon. Great feelings had already been awakened within us, and we were very happy as it was.
As it turned out, however, Bessie Allen was right. After a while, we noticed Elizabeth Patterson coming from the elevator toward us. When she reached us, she said, "I guess you are the 'three people sitting in the lobby' that Baba wants me to bring up to see him." We were surprised, but gladly followed her to the elevator. On the way up to Baba's suite, Elizabeth explained that in the midst of a string of interviews, Baba suddenly held up his hand, indicating that there should be an interruption. Then he held up three fingers and, pointing them downward, conveyed, "Go down to the lobby and bring up the three people who are waiting there."
After waiting a few minutes in the living room of Baba's suite, we were told that we could go in to see Baba, who was receiving people in his bedroom. As we entered the room, we saw him sitting on the far side of the bed. This time he looked completely different. His long, dark hair was hanging down to his shoulders; he wore a long, white Indian sadra and had sandals on his feet. Norina stood nearby, and Chanji was there to read Baba's alphabet board. Baba looked very beautiful, and he greeted us with a smile and motioned for us to sit beside him on the bed. Bessie Allen sat on Baba's right, and Jeanne sat on the left side of Baba, with me sitting next to her. Such close proximity to Baba was too much for Bessie, and she threw her arms around him and exuberantly exclaimed, "My Master, at last I've found you!"
Meantime, Jeanne started to weep uncontrollably. She became quite distressed about this, thinking that this was spoiling our time with Baba. Baba quickly responded to her dilemma by disengaging Bessie's arms and then reaching over with his right hand and placing it on Jeanne's left wrist. Immediately, Jeanne's tears stopped, as if (as she described later) a water tap had been turned off, and she became calm and poised.
While still holding Jeanne's wrist, Baba looked past her and into my eyes. He went to work right away: I felt that he was looking over my inner consciousness and at the same time planting seeds for future work that I would be doing for him.
There was little conversation. We did not come with questions or for an intellectual contact, but to offer ourselves in his Cause and to be accepted by him. He said, "I am very happy that you came" and "I have been helping you always."
Simply being in his presence was quite enough for us. He was already working with us at the heart level while we, like sponges, were soaking up the Divine Love that enveloped and permeated us. I could also feel Baba putting me to work right away on inner levels; it was as though he was rearranging my sanskaras (impressions) and programming me for work to be done for him in the future.
Baba turned to Norina, who was leaning against the heat radiator, and told her to make an appointment for us to see him again on Friday, two days hence.
"But Baba," Norina said, "there is no room!"
"Make room." Baba said.
Later on Norina arranged the time for the appointment with us. We were actually with Meher Baba for just a few moments, but they were timeless and priceless. Baba filled our hearts with his love and beauty. We were exposed to a spiritual greatness such as we could never have anticipated. Truly, there is no such thing as a "brief contact" with the Infinite: It is a timeless moment measured in eternity, and it stays with one forever.
... Friday, December 15, in the afternoon, together with Donald Holloway and Faith Valentine, we went to keep our appointment with Meher Baba at the Shelton Hotel. As we were entering Baba's suite of rooms, we noticed Tallullah Bankhead, a well-known movie star at that time, as she was leaving. After depositing our winter coats and hats in the entrance room, we were directed to a large living room. There we saw Baba, standing to greet us, looking radiantly beautiful, wearing a white sadra and Indian sandals. His abundant, wavy hair flowed down to his shoulders. Baba's secretary, Chanji, was the only other person in the room.
Although it was a sunny afternoon, with sunshine streaming in through the windows, there seemed to be a special light in the room that emanated from Baba. As I looked at him, this lightness became, for me at least, a luminous glory, and it was thus that I beheld the Christ, in the glorious radiance of Divine Love.
Baba sat down on a wide sofa and motioned for us to sit on either side of him. Donald and Faith sat on Baba's left side, while Jeanne and I sat on his right side. But I felt that somehow I must get closer to him. The instant that I felt this, the idea flashed into my mind that I could kneel and sit back on my heels on the carpet right in front of him. I have since come to believe that Baba flashed that idea to me in response to my longing to be nearer to him.
So, there I was at the feet of Christ. He was so beautiful, and being so close to him was truly heavenly. As on the previous occasions with him, there seemed to be no need for words, but he did speak to us — via the alphabet board, with Chanji reading — about love.
Baba said, "Through love you will come to see me as I really am." At that time we already saw him as the Christ and were almost overwhelmed by what we were beholding, so we could not imagine his unveiled spiritual splendor.
Baba sat with one foot on the carpet and the other leg crossed over his knee, and this placed his raised foot just a few inches in front of me. I could scarcely believe my eyes as, looking at his lovely foot, I realized that here was the sacred foot of Christ. Scenes of Mary of Bethany washing the feet of Jesus and wiping them with her hair came to mind, and I was consumed with a longing to kiss Baba's foot. But as I looked up, I felt a bit awkward about it with everyone looking.
Then, a moment later, to my surprise, I noticed that everyone seemed to be preoccupied and not noticing me. Even Baba was looking away. Instantly recognizing this as my opportunity, I bent forward and most gently and lovingly kissed his foot. As I straightened up, it seemed as though no one had noticed, but then Baba reached forward and drew me close to him. Not knowing what he intended, I bowed my head, but Baba gently lifted my chin and kissed my forehead.
While we were with Baba, time seemed to vanish far, far from our consciousness, but we actually were with him on that occasion for about twenty minutes.
The experience of being there with Baba was so incredibly wonderful that I found myself thinking, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if Baba gave us something to keep as a memento of this occasion?" Instantly, Baba motioned to Chanji to bring a rose from a nearby vase. Then he gave each one of us a pink petal, saying, through Chanji and the alphabet board, "This is something for you to keep as a memento of this occasion." I was truly amazed and very grateful.
Baba filled our hearts with love and light. Being with him was a taste of Heaven itself. We left him, feeling secure in the sanctuary of his love and knowing that somehow, someplace, we would see him again in the future.
[modifier] Stardust
In the afternoon, at about 2:30, two chartered buses came to take us for an outing to Brookgreen Gardens, formerly the plantation of Aaron Burr, about twenty-five miles south of the Center. Jeanne had told Baba about the place and how much our family had enjoyed going there during the year we lived in Myrtle Beach, and Baba had agreed to go. Buses and carpools were arranged for the excursion. Baba rode in a car driven by Fred Winterfeldt; our family rode in our own car.
Baba seemed to enjoy walking leisurely through the extensive gardens, with its numerous large sculptures placed throughout. Sometimes he would sit on the ground, leaning against a tree, and the group would sit nearby. My son, Lowell, took some film footage of Baba and the group.
On one occasion, when Baba was walking along at the head of the group, I walked about fifty feet to one side to take a picture of everyone. As I looked at them, I was amazed to see that the whole group following Baba was enveloped in stardust! Thousands of tiny sparks of light flowed from Baba like the wake of a comet, permeating the whole group. I snapped the picture, hoping this phenomenon would be captured on the film, but of course it was not.
[modifier] How Easy To Reach Him!
Generally, after Baba had spent some time with us on the hill at Meherabad, he would walk down the long winding road to where the car awaited him at lower Meherabad. There would always be one or two others with Baba, and one of them held an umbrella over Baba's head. Sometimes, as Baba walked down the hill, he would pause to turn around and wave to us. I especially remember one day in particular. He had taken his leave of us, but we stayed outside the gate looking after him with deep feelings of love and longing.
He stopped some distance down the hill and waved to us. We returned his wave, after which most of the men went back to their quarters. A few of us, however, lingered on to continue to watch the Beloved, and we were very glad we remained, because, to our surprise and delight, every two or three hundred feet, Baba turned around to wave to us until he was way down the hill, almost out of sight. Each time, we responded with a joyful surge of the spirit as we reached out to him with the fullness of our hearts. It seemed like such a spontaneous exchange of love, but I felt that he was showing us how constant his love is for us, and how easy it is for us to reach out to him with our love and longing.
[modifier] Like The Wake Of A Comet
Baba seemed to enjoy walking leisurely through the extensive gardens [Brookgreen], with its numerous large sculptures placed throughout. Sometimes he would sit on the ground, leaning against a tree, and the group would sit nearby. My son, Lowell, took some film footage of Baba and the group.
On one occasion, when Baba was walking along at the head of the group, I walked abut fifty feet to one side to take a picture of everyone. As I looked at them, I was amazed to see that the whole group following Baba was enveloped in stardust! Thousands of tiny sparks of light flowed from Baba like the wake of a comet, permeating the whole group. I snapped the picture, hoping this phenomenon would be captured on the film, but of course it was not.
[modifier] The Beginning Of The East-West Gathering
During the course of this trip with Meher Baba, he had been dropping hints about a proposed big meeting to be held in India. Some had heard a little about it, and others still had not caught wind of this meeting. So, on Sunday, August 5, before breakfast, Baba summoned all of those who were traveling with him on this American tour to assemble in his small suite of rooms. There were about forty of us, all crowded in there.
Baba's announcement was electrifying. He began, "Last night I thought over everything. I had to attend to much Universal Work. I decided about the meeting I want to call after my seclusion on November 7. I have decided the meeting will start November 7 and continue. I will send instructions to those whom I will invite from the West and others in India. These will include instructions informing the Western group when they should arrive, how long they should stay — one month. I will send the instructions in March 1957 to all invitees, and I will expect their early replies and suggestions. I will expect an early reply for the board and lodging arrangements. The group coming from different parts of the globe will have to stay one month. Dana, repeat all this so loudly that those on Mars can hear you!"
Dana Field loudly repeated what Baba had said. Baba continued: "I will require six months for the arrangements. There will be so many from different parts of India. All the Indian groups. That will take time, making arrangements for them." Then Baba had Don Stevens repeat in a loud voice all that he had said.
During the following moments, Ben Hayman asked if the meeting would be for men only, which brought out protests. Baba said, "The Indian women are annoyed with me because it was not possible for them to have my sahavas. This meeting will be for men and women. It will be unprecedented in the history of my activities. I will also invite saints — the seven favorites."
All this talk about a big meeting in India aroused a great deal of interest and excitement among the group — and especially so when Baba turned his attention to the matter of inviting members of the Western group. He forcefully smacked the open palm of his left hand with the fist of his right hand as Eruch interpreted, loudly declaring, "Elizabeth MUST come!" This was followed by the same forceful gesture, and Eruch loudly saying, "John Bass MUST come!"
More names followed, and the excitement among the listeners increased, so that many among the group who had hitherto not seriously thought of going to India began to wonder anxiously if they were going to be left out. Meantime, Baba continued naming one after another until, to the relief of those who were fearing they might be left out, every single person there was named. This was the beginning of what later turned out to be the East-West Gathering, which took place in India in 1962.
Darwin C. Shaw. © 2003 Darwin C. Shaw
